Walking Away was the Best Thing
by harroc83
Summary: MArtinRuthie story. Anyway this is a slight future fic. It's about getting past the obstacles to be together. This will mainly forcus on them. Anyway hope you enjoy Chap 10 12.23.05. Complete
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

"What did you say", asked Ruthie looking at Jack.

"Martin told me it would be a bad idea to date you, that it would not be good", said Jack once again repeating what he was told by Martin.

Ruthie's eyes narrowed. She grabbed Jack's arms pulling him towards where she knew Martin would be. School had just let out so no one was in the halls besides. Ruthie and Jack. Martin looked up and saw Ruthie pulling Jack towards him. This was the day his life was going to change.

October 2008

Hi, I'm going to introduce myself. My name is martin Brewer. Yeah I know you know who I am. Anyway I decided to write in this journal to get some things off my chest. I have had the most interesting and most painful 2 years of my life. Let me start from the beginning. NO not the beginning of my life, but the beginning to where it all went wrong. Sandy. Damn. That word sometimes gets me so made. I was 17 going to be 18 years old when I got the news that I was going to be a father. Yes a father, me. Anyway I can't honestly tell you I was thrilled because that would be like I'm lying. Anyway I digress. Let me start to the day that changed it all for me, I mean the other day that changed it all for me. It was a normal Friday afternoon. At least I thought it would be. I was getting ready for baseball practice the usual, when the girl that has changed my life came yelling at me. Let me break down the scene for you so you could get a clearer picture. Maybe then you will understand exactly how this day changed my life.

"Martin", yelled out Ruthie with a look of pure rage etched on her face.

Martin's eyes snapped up. He looked confused for a minute as to why Ruthie was yelling out his name like that. Then he saw Jack. Shit he thought. She knew. All Martin could think was he had to find a way out of this.

"Hi Ruthie", said Martin trying to avoid her face.

"Tell me why", said Ruthie glaring at him with her hands still encased in Jack's.

"What do you mean?", asked Martin trying to act innocent like.

"You were never good at playing dumb Martin, tell the hell why you told Jack not to date me", yelled Ruthie letting go off Jack's hands and went to stand in front of Martin with her hands on her hips.

Martin looked down at her but Ruthie was not intimidated by his height. In fact he seemed to back up even though she was only 5'1. Martin gave Jack a look telling him to leave. Jack shrugged his shoulders. Whatever he thought.

"Tell me why", said Ruthie taking her finger and jabbing him on the chest.

Martin looked down once more before grabbing her finger. Ruthie ripped her hands form his and pushed him back a little.

"You going to fight me Ruthie", asked Martin smirking.

It just seemed to irk her more. Ruthie moved closer to him almost too close in his opinion.

"Why", gritted out Ruthie.

"Because he is too old for you", said Martin casually turning around and closing his locker but before he did Ruthie slammed it shut.

"Too old for me, why is that any of your business, I don't tell you who to be with and who not to be with, what right do you have to tell anyone I like not to be with me", yelled out Ruthie standing in his face again.

"I'm not going to get into a fight over this", said Martin calmly walking away.

Ruthie wasn't having it thought and grabbed his arm spinning him around to face her.

"Listen and Listen good, you are not my father, you can't tell me who to and who not to date, I don't stick my nose in your damn business, so butt out of mine", screamed Ruthie.

Martin grew angry then.

"NO I will not that guy is too old for you, I was protecting you", yelled Martin.

"Damn you, I don't need your damn protection Martin, I have enough older brothers, and a father to do that, I don't need you", yelled Ruthie back in his face.

"Fine, you don't need me that's fine don't ask me for no favors", yelled Martin back at her.

"You know what all I ever wanted form you Martin was your friendship, you were someone I could trust, you were always honest with me, I loved that, now I can't trust you", said Ruthie looking him directly in the eye.

Martin actually flinched at that

"What do you mean by that", yelled Martin.

He was hurt and it was making him angry. How could she say that to him? Didn't she know what her friendship meant to him?

"So you've been honest with me right Martin?", asked Ruthie with her eyes flashing in anger.

"Yes", said Martin looking at her.

He saw the hurt then the rage. Ruthie pushed him back.

"Liar", growled out Ruthie.

"You weren't honest with me, I had to learn about it from other people", yelled Ruthie.

Martin looked at her confused.

"What are you talking about", yelled Martin.

"When were you going to tell me Martin that not only did you have sex, but you got her pregnant?", asked Ruthie looking at him.

Martin closed his eyes.

"I thought so", said Ruthie picking up her bag that she threw on the ground and began walking away.

She stopped though and turned around.

"If you don't want me in your business, stay out of mine", said Ruthie.

Martin saw her walking away and ran a little bit to catch up with her grabbing her arm and spinning her around to look at him.

"No I refuse to but out of your business, that guy to too old for you and that's that", said Martin glaring.

Ruthie's eyes flashed anger.

"Stay away from me", yelled Ruthie pushing him away form her and began walking away once more.

Martin however wasn't having it and grabbed her arms.

"Don't walk away from me", yelled Martin.

"Screw you, get out of my face", yelled Ruthie trying to escape but Martin was stronger then her.

"No I won't you are not going out with him I refuse it", yelled Martin looking down at her.

He looked at her face and saw it, what he had been seeing for a while now and was scared to admit it to himself. That little something that will get them in trouble. Ruthie glared at him. Her face turned red.

"You can't tell me what to do, do you understand me, I didn't tell you to screw that girl but you did anyway, you are so worried about me making a mistake look at you, father at 18", yelled Ruthie trying to escape once more.

Her words were like a slap to his face, but he refused to let her go. He didn't understand what was driving him. He was so damn anger.

"Ruthie, don't", growled Martin.

Ruthie glared harder at him though.

"Screw you, stay out of my business, you have no right to tell me", yelled Ruthie.

"I have every damn right, I'm not going to see you hurt by that guy, so you could cry over him, do you understand me I'm not going to see you hurt", yelled Martin still not letting her go even though she was pushing him away from her.

"Stay out of my business Martin, stay out, stay out", yelled Ruthie over and over to his face.

"I can't", yelled Martin.

"Why, tell me why", yelled Ruthie.

Martin grabbed her bringing her closer to him making sure she heard everything he had to say to her.

"Because I love you", yelled Martin before grabbing her face and kissing her with all the passion that had been building up inside of him since the summer time.

He had discovered his feelings for her since that whole Vincent thing. He partly went to Simon's school to get away from the feelings of falling in love. He knew she still loved Vincent and he just couldn't handle it. He let his anger over the situation change his life forever. He made a mistake he couldn't take back. It was a mistake that he knew would cost him the one thing he wanted the most in life now, Ruthie Camden.

I remember that day vividly. That kiss, her in my arms, those things you never forget. She fit perfectly with me. I knew I found it. You know what I'm talking about. It's stronger than love its awe inspiring. It's the type of love that time will stand still for. It was the love of soul mates being together. I wish I could tell you that all ended well but unfortunately that wasn't the case. Now I will tell you of how my heart was broken and how I broke a heart too. The heart that I never had the right to break.

Martin continued to kiss Ruthie. It felt so good and so right. It felt like nothing he ever felt in his life. Ruthie pulled back. He saw tears in her eyes.

"No take it back", whispered Ruthie.

"Take them back", said Ruthie crying harder.

He didn't understand what she was talking about. He felt her falling to the ground. He knelt on the floor of the school and held her as she cried harder.

"Take it back, take it back", yelled Ruthie trying to pull out of his embrace.

"Take what back", asked Martin smoothing her slicky soft long hair back from her face.

He looked at her face that had tears falling. He felt the pain grab at his heart.

"Take the words back, take the "I love you back", take the kiss back", yelled Ruthie.

"Why?", yelled Martin.

He didn't want to take them back.

"Because we are not meant to be", yelled Ruthie.

Martin grabbed her as she tried to get up.

"Please god take them back", yelled Ruthie looking at him.

"I can't, yelled Martin.

"You have to I won't be able to go on if you don't my heart can't take the pain Martin, take them back", said Ruthie sobbing.

"I can't I love you so much I can't take them back", yelled Martin crying himself now.

He grabbed her and leaned his forehead against hers. Tears flowed down faces.

"Please Martin please", begged Ruthie looking into his eyes.

"Don't ask me that", said Martin cupping her face.

He looked at her. He felt the pain. He knew what she was asking him to do.

"She's pregnant", said Ruthie.

Martin shut his eyes.

"I know", whispered Martin.

"Take it back", yelled Ruthie clutching his shirt.

"I can't", yelled Martin.

He couldn't take the words back.

"You have to it's the only way I can survive this, please for me, please Martin", cried Ruthie holding his shirt.

"I, please don't ask me to do this, I can't stop feeling this way, please don't ask me", begged Martin.

"You have to, it's the only way I can't be with you, you can't be with me, it's the only way, I love you so much Martin but she's pregnant with your baby", chocked out Ruthie.

"I know I'm so sorry, baby I'm so sorry", cried out Martin holding unto her.

"I know I know, but you can' take it back, you are going to be a father Martin, I just wish", said Ruthie.

"Wish what?", asked Martin with tears flowing down his face.

"That it were me; that I was going to be the mother of your child. I wish it were me. I know it sounds crazy but I do. I feel like I'm supposed to be having your babies not her. So take them back please Martin please", yelled Ruthie.

"I can't", yelled Martin.

When all of this was going on they didn't notice that they had an audience.

"Wow", whispered Simon.

Sandy's eyes never left the scene in front of her. The chemistry between Martin and Simon's little sister was tangible in the air. She knew that Martin would never feel that way about her. She knew now the damage that she had done. She got in the way of true love. She wanted to hate Ruthie but she couldn't she understood actually. She understood her perfectly well.

"You have to take it back, you have to tell me that we are just friends, brother and sister then I know the pain won't be as strong, you have to tell me that so I can live to the next day without wanting to die Martin. You have to tell me that you don't love me, it's the only way", yelled out Ruthie.

Martin once again refused. She got anger at him then.

"God you have to, you are killing me. You have my heart Martin and you broke it, it won't be fixed. You broke my heart", yelled Ruthie.

She got up and ran. He didn't stop her this time. He couldn't. He cried out sobbing in the middle of the hallway. He lost everything that day.

I remember her face. I remember it till this day. It's been a little over two years since that happen. I continued to go to school. Ruthie avoided me at all costs. There were times when I saw her looking at me. The pain in her eyes killed me. It was me that did that. I hurt her so much. I remember bumping into her by accident in the halls. She fell into me and god I can't lie to you, it felt perfect to have her in my arms. She must have felt it too because she didn't move for a while. I held her and she cried in my arms again. I said I was sorry. She said she knew. She looked at me and ran her fingers through my hair. I guess it was a goodbye of sorts, but that was the last thing we said to one another. It just became too hard to be around each other.

I even remember a night that Annie Camden came to see me. She told me that Ruthie told her everything. I couldn't hold t in anymore. I cried. I cried I couldn't believe it. When Annie told me that Ruthie wasn't the same anymore, I kept telling her I was so sorry. She understood. She held me and she told me that it would work out. I wanted to believe that but I knew it wasn't true. I lost her I knew.

My god I have to go. I have to pick up my daughter. Yeah I have a little girl. She is the second female I ever fell in love with. Lillian. That's her name she is my world. I know I didn't want a baby. I mean I still believe that I was too young but my little girl has brought me joy that I had lost when I had lost Ruthie. My relationship with Sandy if you could call it that was rocky. I never argued with her when my daughter was there but that woman drives me nuts. I take care of Lillian primarily. I have her 5 days a week. I did go to college and have a baseball scholarship. What helped was the coach. He understood my situation and helped my get an apartment and a part time job. The apartment and school are paid for so the only thing I had to worry about was my daughter. That part time job that I had went solely to her. Sandy on the other hand; it seemed that she didn't want to try. When Lillian was born she didn't hold her. She didn't hold her until she was two months old. I don't understand it, she is so distant with our daughter. Aren't mothers supposed to love their children? I know I do. When I held that little girl in my arms she held my heart and never let it go. I'll guess I'll write more soon.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Martin walked up to Sandy's apartment. He didn't let her move in with him even though she carried his child. His daughter had her own room in the apartment though. He took out his key and turned the lock. When he looked inside he started panicking. Everything was gone except his daughter that was now sitting on the ground by herself. Martin picked up.

"Sandy", yelled out Martin walking around the empty apartment.

"Daddy where's Sandy?", asked the little girl tilting her head looking her father.

Lillian never called Sandy mother. Sandy didn't seem to care. Not Martin he wanted his little girl to call him dad.

"I don't know baby, where did she go?", asked Martin trying to curb his anger.

Sandy left his daughter by herself. She was only two. What the hell was she thinking? God that woman never thinks. She was careless with Lillian all the time. It was like she didn't care about the little girl. Martin walked to the bedroom to find everything gone except for Lillian's stuff. He noticed on a box a sheet of paper. He reached over and saw that it was a letter from Sandy addressed to him.

_Dear Martin,_

_I know right now you are angry with me for leaving Lillian by herself. I just can't do it anymore. I can't be her mother. I'm sorry. I just can't. I thought I could but I know now that I was just trying to prove to my parents that I could do this without them. Look I'm going to be honest with you and tell you the truth. I don't want her I can't love her. I tried I have, two years I have tried. It might sound selfish but I have to find myself first. I'm not ready to be a mother to anyone right now. So I'm leaving. I just can't. I'm sorry _

_Sandy_

Martin clutched the paper in his hand. He felt so angry he wanted to throw things. Sandy abandoned their daughter. God what was she thinking. She has a daughter to raise. She just left.

"God I need help, I have to find her, where am I going to get help?", asked Martin out loud.

His little girl looked at him. She shrugged her shoulders at him.

"Luv you daddy", said Lillian kissing his nose and giggling.

He smiled at her. He got the rest of Lillian's stuff walking out of the apartment. He knew where to go. It was a place he used to think of as his home. It was a place that held good and bad memories. He was going to Glenoak. Martin looked in the rearview mirror at his daughter that was giggling in her car seat playing her stuffed animal. How could Sandy not love her and want her. He saw the sign and pulled up to the familiar driveway. He shut down the car and sat there. He took a deep breath. He had to prepare himself. He kept in touch with most of the Camden clan but they everyone knew never to bring up Ruthie. He didn't even know where she was now. She should have just started college. She probably was having a great time, dating boys. God that statement alone hurt him more than he knew. He hadn't dated anyone. He couldn't besides having a baby to raise, baseball, school, and a job, he just couldn't bring himself to go out with anyone because he was very much in love with Ruthie still. That love didn't fade it actually grew. Sometimes it felt like it would consume him. He had to take deep breaths sometimes to not let the emotions come to the surface. He walked to the front doorway. It was like weird being here like this. He rang the doorbell.

"Martin?", asked Eric Camden when he opened the door.

"Hey, I need your help", said Martin looking at the man that hadn't changed much.

His daughter looked at the man in front of him and buried her head in Martin's neck. She didn't like people touching her. She still even had a hard time with Martin's father even though he was her grandfather. She didn't like anyone holding her except Martin. Sandy held her but she always fussed until Sandy put her down. Eric made a sign to let Martin pass. Martin walked into the house that used to be his home. He missed it here.

"Eric who's at the door", said Annie walking in.

Annie stopped in her tracks. She smiled at him.

"Martin", said Annie going up to hug him.

Lillian fussed bit.

"Hey, how are you", asked Annie.

"I'm doing okay, but I need your help", said Martin.

They all say down.

"So what's the problem", said Eric looking at the little girl in Martin's arms.

"Oh this is Lillian, Lillian can you say hi?", asked Martin trying to move her head form his neck.

Lillian gave a shy smile and waved before planting her face back into her father's neck.

"She's shy", said Martin smiling.

Annie smiled also. Martin looked up then.

"Here is what I need help with", said Martin handing the letter over to Eric.

Eric's eyes bugged out of his head before passing the letter onto Annie. Annie looked at him confused until she read the letter.

"Oh My", was the only thing that came out of her mouth.

"I know I need help, need to find her, she is Lillian's mother", said Martin.

Lillian right now was playing with Martin's shirt button.

"I don't understand why she would do this, I'm not surprised though", said Martin sighing.

"What do you mean?", asked Annie trying to get over the shock of someone actually writing down that she wouldn't love her child.

"Sandy never got attached to Lillian, I basically raised her. She didn't hold her until Lillian was two months old, when Lily had a cold, flu, fever, it was me that took care of it because Sandy didn't want to, but I thought it got better but it didn't because she still looked like she wasn't caring for her child but like she was babysitting instead. She never showed my daughter any love. But she is her mother and I even though I don't like it I don't want Lillian being raised without one. I was and I never loved that", said Martin looking at Eric.

"I know I'll call Kevin he is back on the force and maybe we can get a search going", said Eric.

Martin nodded his head. Eric left the room then to make his phone call.

"SO Martin how have you been?", asked Annie.

"It's been hard, I'm tired all the time but I knew that this was how it was supposed to be, I don't get any help so it's been extra hard", said Martin looking at Annie.

She nodded her head. He knew she wanted to say something else but it was like she was afraid to which he knew meant that it was about Ruthie.

"You want to tell me something I know", said Martin looking down at Lillian that was falling asleep in his arms.

"Oh do you want to put her to sleep?", asked Annie.

Martin nodded his head. Martin followed Annie to the second floor. Everything was pretty much the same way. She led him to the back room where he used to sleep.

"You can lay her down here", said Annie.

Martin nodded his head doing just that. He placed her gently on the bed kissing her forehead and brushing away her dark curls. Everyone said that she looked exactly like him. She didn't get a thing form Sandy. She was his replicate.

"Sweet dreams princess", whispered Martin smiling down at his little girl.

Annie observed this and smiled. She knew even though Martin was not open to the idea of fatherhood before she knew that he would eventually come around and would be a great father. She knew she had to tell him that Ruthie was due any minute now. She wanted to come home this weekend. Her and Ruthie's relationship got closer over the years and she was happy that Ruthie confided in her about Martin. It broke her heart that her little girl was hurting. She wanted to yell at Martin but when she saw him that night. She knew she couldn't because he was hurting just as bad. Martin started walking out of the room. They reached the laden before he started down the steps when he got to the bottom he remembered that Annie had to tell him something.

"What did you have to tell me again?", asked Martin.

Just then the door opened and his world shifted, tilted and spun out of orbit. He heard the voice the forever was engrained in his mind and dreams. He remembered everything thing. Her slight Californian accent, everything, he remembered everything.

"Mom Dad I'm home", yelled out a now 18 year old Ruthie.

She was beautiful to him. She got a little bit taller and her hair was cut to just below her cheeks now. She had red highlights running though it. She looked older, she looked like a woman not the like the girl the he remembered.

She looked up at the staircase and she almost fell over. It was Martin. He was here standing in front of her. He was tangible not like in her dreams when she would reach out to touch him he would disappear. No he was here, standing before her look beautiful to her. He was beautiful. She never said that about a guy before. Words like hot, cute, ugly but beautiful that was only word to describe Martin. He looked almost the same except that he was taller and looked older. He looked at her and she felt her heart beating too fast. She wanted to run but where would she run to. She hadn't seen him in more than two year but he still had the same effect on her as he always did. She fell in love with him again. She had to protect her heart. She knew that he could easily steal it and then break it. "Ahh hi Ruthie", said Annie smiling. She wanted to ease the tension a bit but she knew she couldn't. She knew in her heart that what Martin and her daughter had was special. "Hi mom", squeaked out Ruthie.

She cleared her throat, almost embarrassed for squeaking. Martin smiled though. Ruthie couldn't help but return it.

"Hi Ruthie", said Martin looking at her.

Ruthie felt shivers run up her back. Her name on his lips had got to be some type of heavenly thing.

"Hi", replied Ruthie looking down at her hands.

Annie walked up to her and kissed her forehead.

"Come on and get unpacked, the boys are at your grandparents' house", said Annie before she could ask where the boys were.

Ruthie nodded her head.

"I'm going to unpack", said Ruthie.

She climbed the steps but her body brushed Martin's much bigger one. She felt chills. She heard Martin gasp too. Ruthie nearly ran up the steps. She walked to the end of the hallway. She was about to go upstairs but she noticed the room in the back her old bedroom's door was open ajar. She walked up the room and looked inside. She saw a small figure sleeping on the bed. She wondered who it was. Ruthie walked more fully into the room and gasped. She knew who this child belonged too. She was Martin's. Anyone could see that. She looked so much like her father.

"Father, Martin's a father", whispered Ruthie.

She felt the tears come up again. She pushed it down. She couldn't cry over a man that wasn't hers. She looked more at the little girl. She was beautiful. She had a little birthmark right next to her nose. She had thick full dark hair that was curly and framed her face. She wore a pair of overalls and underneath was a pink t-shirt with a sun on it. Ruthie sat there for a while looking at the little girl. Ruthie reached out and brushed a girl a curl back from the little girl's head. She saw her whimpering, like she was having a nightmare. The little girl woke up suddenly. She looked at Ruthie that was slightly shocked.

"Hi", said the little girl.

"Whos you?", asked Lillian with a slight lisp.

Ruthie smiled at that.

"I'm Ruthie, and what's your name?", asked Ruthie smiling at her.

"I'm Lillian I's two", said Lillian smiling at Ruthie.

Ruthie gasped. Her smile, it was just like Martin's.

"Oh okay, this used to be my room, so I'll share with you okay", said Ruthie reaching out and brush a curl that fell onto her face.

The little girl seemed to be thinking about it and smiled nodding her head.

"Well Lillian I have to go unpack, I'll see you", said Ruthie.

"Noss Stay wit me", said Lillian pouting.

"Aw I have to unpack, but how about you come help me", said Ruthie smiling at the little girl.

Lillian nodded her head smiling again. She held out her hands. Ruthie understood and picked her up. She smelled her head and smiled. Babies always smelled good. Lillian smelled like baby powder and something equally as seat. She smelled like Martin's cologne that he wore. Ruthie smiled at the little girl when she put her head against her shoulders and took a strand of her hair played with it. She climbed up the stairs with her bag over her shoulders and Lillian in her arms. The little girl started jabbing away. Ruthie giggled at her innocence. If Ruthie didn't watch herself she might just fall in love with Martin's daughter too.

"So what did Kevin say?", asked Martin sitting down in the kitchen with Annie and Eric.

"They are searching for her, but she could be anywhere Martin", said Eric. Martin nodded his head.

"I can't believe she would do this to Lillian, Lily doesn't deserve this", said Martin.

He closed his eyes pinch the bridge of his nose trying to calm his nerves. It wasn't the Sandy thing that was bothering per say, well it did bother him but his encounter with Ruthie left his nerves rattled.

"Well I have to be going, I have a drive ahead of me and I want to Lily to sleep", said Martin.

"Why don't you stay here for the night, I mean it's so late already", suggested Annie.

Eric gave her a look asking her what she was up too but Annie ignored him.

"Um I mean I don't want to intrude", said Martin.

"Non sense you are family Martin, we are happy to have you here", said Annie smiling.

"You could stay in your old room if you like", said Annie.

"Or you could stay in the room where Lily is now", suggest Annie.

"Yeah I don't want to move her, so I'll stay in there. I know it's a little early but I'm so tired, I'm going to get some shut eye, good night and thank you", said Martin.

"Your welcome", said Annie as she watched Martin climb up the stairs.

"What are you up to?", asked Eric.

"My Ruthie is going to be happy if it kills me", said Annie. Eric looked at his wife.

He knew she was planning something. He knew also not to get in her way. There would be no way he would be going to sleep with an angry wife. Martin climbed the stairs and walked towards the backroom but he stopped when he heard giggling from upstairs. He decided to check it out. What he saw made him stop. There was his little girl the same little girl that didn't allow anyone to touch her playing with Ruthie kissing her and hugging her. Ruthie blow raspberries onto her stomach making his little girl giggle out in delight.

"Rutea", giggle Lillian smiling.

Ruthie giggled. Martin watched on in fascination. He was captivated by the beautiful scene in front of him. The two people he loved most in the world were together. They looked too perfect together. Like mother and daughter. Then Martin hit the realization that Ruthie wasn't Lillian's mother even though he may have wanted that he knew it would never be. Martin cleared his throat. Ruthie looked up startled for a bit but she regained her composure for about a second before she realize who exactly was standing before her.

"Martin", sighed out Ruthie.

Martin looked at her, her face flushed because of play, her hair in a slight disarray, she never look more beautiful to him. His daughter in her arms completely the look. He fell in love once more.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Before he interrupted them he had to look. It was amazed by the picture.

There was his daughter the same daughter that never let anyone touch her, kissing and hugging Ruthie. Ruthie blew raspberries into her stomach and his daughter giggled in delight.

"Lillian airplane", said Ruthie picking her up and making Lillian into an airplane.

They both laughed as if this was the greatest thing in the world. Martin felt his heart clench at the picture. Sandy was never this way with her. She never giggled with Lillian and made her feel special. And once again the thought that he wished that Ruthie was Lillian's mother crept back up again. Martin didn't want to interrupt them but he cleared his throat though. Ruthie looked up and almost gasped.

"Martin", sighed Ruthie.

He still had that affect on her. He came into her presence and she forgot to speak. Ruthie brought Lillian back down unto her hip. Lillian laid her head against Ruthie's shoulders like she belonged there. Martin wished once more that Ruthie was Lillian's mother. He wished it with his whole heart.

"I didn't mean to interrupt. I just went looking for Lily and I heard giggling", explain Martin.

Ruthie nodded her head.

"Yeah me and Lily go way back now, she and I are best-friends isn't that right Lily Bean", asked Ruthie tickling the little girl's belly making her laugh out loud.

Martin smiled at the picture they made together in each other's arms. He smiled at Ruthie's nick name for his daughter. It was perfect to him. These two dark haired women have stolen his heart and he didn't want it back.

"Well it is way past Lily's bedtime, umm your mom invited us to stay here", said Martin looking down at his hand.

Ruthie tried to control her breathing. Martin was staying her, right here in her home. She felt butterflies in her stomach. She still loved him so much. How could she not. He was her heart. He still was the keeper to her heart. Ruthie nodded her head and walked up to Martin giving him Lily but Lily started to fuss refusing to let go of Ruthie.

"Ahh I see I'm not wanted", laughed Martin.

Ruthie tried once more but Lily clung to her.

"No Rutea", said Lillian nodding her head and lay it back down on Ruthie's shoulders.

Ruthie gave him an "I'm so sorry" look. Martin held up his hand and said, "its okay I understand why my daughter would want to have you in her presence, I understand all to well", said Martin. Ruthie gasped and looked at him.

His face showed her how serious he was. She knew he still loved her. It was hard to swallow all of a sudden.

"Martin", whispered Ruthie.

Martin tilted her head back making her looking into his eyes.

"Ruthie Camden, it doesn't matter how many years we are not around each other my feelings have never changed", said Martin rubbing her cheeks.

Ruthie closed her eyes trying not to cry again.

"We can't Martin, you know why", said Ruthie.

"But its different now, you are older", said Martin.

"I know it's just that", said Ruthie.

"What baby why?" asked Martin.

Ruthie loved when he called her baby. It was something he did only with her. He never called any of his past girlfriends an endearment. It was only her.

"I'm scared, I don't think I could handle the pain", said Ruthie deciding to be honest with him.

She shut her eyes still holding onto Lillian like she was her lifeline. Martin kissed her forehead.

"Ruth", said Martin huskily.

He wanted to convey all his feelings into that one word. She was his life, didn't she understand that.

"I had this right in my mind before Martin, I couldn't be with you because she was pregnant and I couldn't get in the way of that, I still can't get in the way of that", said Ruthie.

He held her closer to his body.

"I know back then it was harder but not now Ruthie, I was only with Sandy that one time, and it was one of my biggest regrets but I can't say I didn't want it to happen because it brought me Lillian, and even though being a father at 18 was the hardest thing I ever had to do, Lillian is my world", said Martin.

Ruthie nodded her head.

"And she should be, she should she is yours, but Martin I'm jealous still", said Ruthie.

Martin's eyes flew up at that.

"Jealous?" asked Martin.

"She got to have your baby, she got your virginity, she got that I never will have something like that. I feel ashamed that I'm jealous but I can't help it", said Ruthie crying a bit.

"Rutea no cry", said Lillian.

She surprised them; they both forgot that she was still being held by Ruthie. She reached out wiping Ruthie's tears and kissing each cheek. Lillian smiled at Ruthie obviously proud that she stops Ruthie form crying. Ruthie let out a small giggle

"Your daughter is a charmer", said Ruthie.

Martin smiled also.

"You have nothing to be jealous about, you never did, yes she got those things but she didn't get my heart, my soul, you got those things Ruthie. You always had them", said Martin turning his attention back to Ruthie.

"I just, I don't know Martin, can we take it slow", asked Ruthie.

"Anyway you want I just want to be in your life again. Do you have someone else in your life", asked Martin almost afraid to ask.

"No I couldn't I mean I felt like I would betray you, I know it sounds stupid", said Ruthie.

"NO it doesn't I understand completely, I couldn't either", said Martin.

Lillian was watching her daddy and Ruthie and Lillian were happy. She liked Ruthie.

"Can I kiss you?" asked Martin almost blushing.

Ruthie looked at him and smiled.

"Yeah Martin you can kiss me", said Ruthie.

Martin smiled before leaning down and planting a butterfly kiss onto her lips. He felt her sigh and he drew her closer to his body tilting his head to get closer to her mouth. He wrapped his arms around her body kissing her with the passion that he buried deeply for the last two years. He heard her moan in delight and he smiled against her lips. He pulled back to see her flushed face and her eyes still closed. He smiled at that picture. Lillian looked at her daddy wondered what he was doing with Ruthie.

"Kissy too daddy", said Lillian reaching over to get a kiss.

"Ahh I can't leave you out of this too princess", said Martin kissing her on the cheeks.

She giggled in delight.

"Kissy Rutea", said Lillian.

Ruthie smiled and laid a big kiss on her cheeks. Lillian clapped her hands. She loved kisses.

"Let's bring her downstairs", said Martin.

Ruthie nodded her head carrying the little girl down the stairs. Ruthie was still scared though. How would she handle being around Sandy. That girl still had a way to make her cringe. It was like she stared through her when she looked at her. Every time she was around, Ruthie felt nervous. It was like Sandy was judging her or something. Like she wasn't good enough.

"Good night Lily Bean", whispered Ruthie kissing the girl's forehead.

"Night Night Rutea", yawned Lillian closing her eyes.

"Night Night daddy", said Lillian before succumbing to sleep.

"Good night princess", said Martin smiling at the way Ruthie tucked her in.

The turned off the light and let the door open ajar. Ruthie walked Martin to the room he would be staying in. they both stood outside nervously. He held her hands in his. "I'm scared Martin, what if it doesn't work", said Ruthie. Martin reached and stroked her cheeks and then cupped her face. She turned her face around his hands so that her lips kissed his palm.

"Baby it will work, I know it. I love you so much, I don't know if I could love anyone else. Life without you has been miserable. I understand why we weren't together then but now things are different baby so different. I know I still have Lillian, but that shouldn't stop us from being together right? Does Lillian's presence bother you?" asked Martin looking down.

"God no, she is so beautiful Martin, she looks so much like, how could I not love someone that is so much a part of you, I feel in love with her already. It's crazy since I have only been around her for about two hours", said Ruthie smiling looking at the door that held Lillian.

Martin smiled at this. He was worried though. He knew Sandy hated Ruthie. He didn't understand why though. Simon even called her out on it. He demanded to know what was wrong with Ruthie for her to hate her so. Sandy just said that Ruthie had something she wanted. With Sandy it all came down to jealous. It always did. She was jealous of her own daughter. Martin knew it but he still couldn't make himself believe it though. Martin loved his little girl so much but he never even gave thought to Sandy. Sandy knew he didn't love her and he never would. That was just a fact.

March 2008

Hi journal or whatever. It's been a while since I wrote in this thing. I shouldn't have slacked but my life has shifted ad changed so much lately. I just never found the time to write in it. Anyway let me break down what has been happening to me. It's been a little over six months since Sandy left. We haven't heard a thing for her. I notified the police of Sandy abandoning our daughter and made a report about it. I wanted to make sure that if she ever came back she would pay for what she did. But you don't really want to hear all of this do you. You want to hear about what really changed my life in the last 6 months. Yup ladies and gentlemen. I got her back. Ruthie is my girl, my woman, my soul is connected back. My PIC partner in crime. My other half. Whatever you want to call her I got her back in my life. She has been so great. She doesn't actually live that far from my school and apartment. Her school is not that far away. Every night she comes over to my house and she cooks dinner or I cook which ever. We sit together and talk. Talking has always been an important thing with me and Ruthie. She was scared for a while but she gradually let go of that fear. She has become a fixture in me and Lillian's life. I remember the day when everything was perfect in my life. I want to share it with you.

"Ruthie", smiled Martin opening the door. Ruthie was carrying two bags.

Martin reached out taking both bags out of her hands.

"What's all this", asked Martin.

"That mister is your dinner, that I'm going to cook", said Ruthie.

When he put the bags on his kitchen table; she grabbed him wrapping her arms around his neck kissing him with all that she had. Martin was surprised but he held her waist pulling her up a little from the ground. He got so into the kiss. Ruthie pulled back and smiled.

"I love you so much", whispered Ruthie bending down once more kissing him.

Martin smiled against her lips.

"I love you too", whispered Martin.

He gently put her on the ground.

"I'm happy to see you", said Martin.

Ruthie nodded her head hugging him still. Martin smiled against her shoulders. He rubbed his nose against her cheeks making her giggle out in delight.

"Oh baby that tickles", said Ruthie giggling.

"Where is my lily bean?", asked Ruthie put away some of the thing from the bags she brought.

"Ah she is sleeping she is fussy today, terrible twos", said Martin.

Ruthie laughed at him. Lillian was anything but terrible. She was usually such a well behaved child.

"Speaking of the devil", said Martin as he looked up to see his two year rubbing sleep from her eyes.

Her curly hair sticking up all over the place. She spotted Ruthie and nearly ran to her. Ruthie caught her easily.

"Lily Bean, my favorite little person in the while world", said Ruthie picking her up and kissing her all over her face.

Lillian giggled out in delight.

"What is this I hear about you been fussy today?", asked Ruthie seating her down on the booster seat that was for her at the kitchen table.

Lillian glared at her father. Martin shook his head.

"Daddy mean", said Lillian pouting.

"Aww your daddy's not mean, he loves you right?", asked Ruthie smoothing out her curly locks.

Her own hair was growing out again it reached a little past her shoulders now. Martin loved her hair long. He told her that one night when they were watching movies. She smiled at the memories. His hands were always in her hair.

"Yeah but he send my sleepy bye", said Lillian.

"Oh I see, but you were a good girl right, because if you weren't then you had to go to your room to think about what you do, why don't you say sorry to daddy for being not such a good girl", said Ruthie rubbing the little girl's back.

Lillian looked at her and sighed.

"Sory daddy", said Lillian pouting.

Martin knelt down next to her.

"It's okay princess I forgive you", whispered Martin kissing her forehead.

He smiled at Ruthie, telling her thanks.

"Alright now that is settled, get out my kitchen while I prepare a meal for this family", said Ruthie.

Ruthie didn't know what does words did to him. She called him family, she called them family. Lillian must have picked up on the word too because she asked.

"Fabily?", asked Lillian tilting her head to the side. Ruthie smiled at both of them.

"Yeah you are my family", said Ruthie smiling and kissing both their noses.

She turned around but Martin grabbed her waist bringing her closer to his body.

"You are my family baby, I love you", whispered Martin kissing her neck.

She moaned out a bit. He knew how to touch her body. They didn't have sex yet. They both agree to wait. But it was hard to wait especially since they loved each other so much.

"Are you my mommy?", asked Lillian breaking the moment.

Both Martin and Ruthie's heads snapped up at the question. Lillian waited for them to answer her. She wanted to know. Ruthie was like a mommy to her. All the girls at daycare told her that Ruthie was her mommy. Ruthie knelt down in front of her.

"Do you want me to be?", asked Ruthie surprising Martin.

Martin looked at her. Ruthie took hold of his hands. She looked at him.

"Do you want me to be her mother?", asked Ruthie.

Martin nodded his head. Ruthie smiled.

"I want to be her mother", said Ruthie.

"I wanna you mommy", said Lillian.

"Okay then I'm your mommy", said Ruthie.

"Yay", clapped Lillian reaching over and kissing Ruthie.

"Mommy", said Lillian out loud almost savoring the word.

"Well if you are going to be her mother, then you have to be my wife", said Martin.

Ruthie gasped at that. She was paying attention to Lillian she didn't see Martin kneel down in front of her with a ring opened so she could see. The ring was beautiful simple, just like Ruthie.

"Martin", whispered out Ruthie.

"I was planning this while romantic thing for us, so I could ask you to be my wife, but I couldn't resist, Ruthie Camden you have changed my life, you have taken in my daughter and treated her like she was your own. I can't even begin to tell you how much I love you, how much you have gotten through these past 6 months. I want you to know, I want to know actually if your would be my wife", said Martin taking the ring out of the box.

Tears flowed down Ruthie's face as she nodded her head.

"Yes, yes I'll marry you", said Ruthie hugging him with all her might.

Martin shed a tear too. His dream was coming true. "Mommy", yelled out Lillian. Ruthie smiled.

"Yeah baby I'm your mommy", said Ruthie kissing her then kissing Martin.

He placed the ring onto her finger and smiled.

I told you that was the best night of my life. She called all of her family. They had been very supportive of the relationship between her and me. They were happy with the fact that we were getting married. We were young yes but they knew that would make it. Well I got to go, I have to go pick up my wife to be and daughter from the doctor's office. Lillian has a cold. Ruthie took her in while I had baseball practice. Baseball practice ended a little early and when I got to the apartment she had already gone. I'm was going to go join them but I had to get my thoughts down on paper. Anyway that's all for now.

Martin closed his journal smiling. He grabbed his jacket with a smile on his face and reached and opened the door. His smiled faded thought as soon as he saw the person standing on the other side of the door.

"Sandy", said Martin.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"What are you doing here", growled out Martin.

"You know what don't tell me I don't want to know, just stay away from me and my daughter", said Martin pulling the door shut and leaving in anger.

Sandy looked at him pulling out of his parking space and sighed. She knew he would not welcome her back but she thought that he would be reasonable but that thought wasn't correct.

"I have to think of another way", said Sandy walking to her car.

"Well?", asked the guy that was sitting in the car that Sandy got in.

"He won't talk to me", said Sandy.

"I'm sorry baby, but it's for the best, its not like you wanted him anyway, you just came for the kid", said the man.

"I don't know Tony, I don't even want her, she means nothing to me", said Sandy.

"But we need this, my mother wants to have grand children, so we are going to use yours", said Tony.

Sandy sighed again. She knew this was a bad idea but she loved Tony and would do anything to make him happy.

Martin drove to the doctor's office. He was so angry it wasn't even funny. How dare she come back now after all this time. One thing was for sure he would never let her see Lillian again. Martin spotted Ruthie sitting in the waiting room. Lillian was laying in her arms. Martin smiled when he saw Ruthie rocking Lillian and softly singing to her. God he loved that woman. She was Lillian's mother not Sandy. He would make sure that she never came anywhere near his daughter. Ruthie looked up then and smiled.

"Hey, I didn't know you were coming here", said Ruthie.

He kissed her softly on the mouth.

"Umm love your kisses", whispered Ruthie laying her head on his shoulders.

"Daddy", whispered Lillian giving a little cough and sniffling.

"Hey princess, I know you are feeling sick but when you see the doctor, it will be all better okay", said Martin.

Lillian nodded her head and leaned her head back on Ruthie's shoulders.

"Lillian Brewer", said the nurse.

Ruthie looked up and smiled. She got up and followed the nurse. Martin walked on behind her.

"Ahh let's see you can give her this, her cold should be over in a couple of days, if it last for more than a week then bring her in", said the doctor.

Ruthie nodded her head.

"Alright thank you doctor", said Ruthie picking up Lillian putting her coat back on and followed Martin out to the car.

"Baby I have to tell you something, we have to go to your parents today, there is something we all need to discuss", said Martin.

He was worried, He didn't like Sandy around his daughter. But what if the judge told him to give her custody. He didn't think he could handle Sandy being anywhere near his child. He wanted to find her at first but not now, he just wants her away.

"What's wrong?", asked Ruthie as Martin drove.

Martin was stressed and he gripped the steering wheel.

"She's back", said Martin.

"Who? Oh no, no she can't be", said Ruthie finally realizing what Martin meant.

Ruthie had her head buried in her hands. She was sobbing.

"She is going to take my baby away, no she can't I just got her", cried out Ruthie.

Martin pulled the car off the road and pulled Ruthie into his arms.

"I won't let her, she abandoned her child, she never wanted Lily to begin with", said Martin.

"But she's her mother", chocked out Ruthie.

"No she is not you are her mother, the only mother she has ever known, don't ever say that one is my child's mother, my child's mother is Ruthie Camden soon to be Brewer, do you understand", said Martin cupping her face.

Ruthie had tears running down her face. She was scared that Sandy came to take Lillian from her.

"I'm the mother", asked Ruthie looking at him with her big brown eyes that were filled with tears.

"Yes you are the mother", said Martin smiling and kissing her softly on the mouth. Lillian was asleep in the backseat not knowing exactly what was going on.

Martin pulled up to the Camden driveway and shut off the car. Ruthie still had not said anything. He knew she was scared about Sandy coming home. He hated to admit it but he was too. He didn't want Ruthie to lose her place, her rightful place as the mother of his daughter. Everything had been so perfect, Sandy once again had to ruin his life. Even though he loves his daughter, he hated the day he ever met that woman. Martin opened the door for Ruthie but she didn't get out of the car. She looked at him with the most painful look. It was like she lost her world. In a sense she did because Lillian was her world. She loved her daughter so much. He even remembered Christmas at the Camden house.

Flashback………….

"Oh my little girl", whispered Ruthie combing Lillian curly locks into two pigtails.

Lillian giggled as Ruthie made her hair pretty.

"So pretty Rutea", said Lillian looking into the mirror.

Ruthie put two red bows in her head to finish off the look.

"Do you like it Lilybean?", asked Ruthie.

Lillian nodded her head and smiled.

"Alright time for me to get ready, daddy is almost done in the shower, why don't you play with your toys while I get daddy okay", said Ruthie.

She picked up Lillian and put her on the ground next to a stack of toys. Ruthie went to bathroom and opened the door.

"Oh god, I'm sorry I thought you were done", said Ruthie.

Martin stood before her stark naked. She couldn't help but look.

"Umm Ruthie can you stop staring please", whispered Martin.

Ruthie didn't even hear him she just walked up to him held onto his waist and kissed him softly.

"I love our lives Martin", whispered Ruthie.

"I need to take a shower, can you watch Lilybean for me", asked Ruthie.

Martin was still reeling from the kiss he stood there dazed out of his mind. What she did next shocked him. She dropped her robe to the ground. He sucked in his breath quickly.

"Oh god", panted Martin.

Ruthie smiled.

"Oh baby you like what you see?", asked Ruthie smiling at him.

"oh yeah", said Martin before taking her lips.

They kissed passionately for a while and Martin cupped her breasts. Her moaning actually made him snap back to reality.

"Baby I would love to continue this and make love to you but I want to wait till our wedding night so that it could be perfect for you", said Martin leaning his head against hers.

She was still panting and the sexual tension was still in the air.

"I know it's so hard sometimes, because you are so sexy", said Ruthie closing her eyes.

Martin took her lips once more.

"I know, I know go take a shower", said Martin grabbing a towel wrapping it around his waist.

He smacked her butt playfully make her squeal.

"SO naughty", said Ruthie. Martin smirked.

Ruthie didn't take that long to get dressed. They were on their way to the Camden home.

"Hey", said Annie opening the door for them.

"Hey mom, can you say hi Lilybean", said Ruthie.

Lillian gave a small wave and smiled before burying her head into Ruthie's neck. She was still very shy around people. Martin hugged Annie.

"The gifts are in the car", said Martin.

When they walked in the house was packed. Everyone enjoyed the afternoon. Everyone also noticed the tight family unit that Martin, Ruthie, and Lillian made. Lillian clung to Ruthie not once letting her out of her sight. Ruthie was becoming her mother and everyone knew that she would be. Ruthie had been the one that sneaky in the family but she was also the one that had the gentle soul and she showered Lillian with that. Ruthie always made sure that Lillian was in her sight. Annie smiled at the picture. She was worried though that their happiness would end someday when Sandy decided that she wanted to be a mother.

End of Flashback………

"She's back", said Martin sitting the living room.

Annie and Eric were afraid of this.

"Hope she doesn't want to take Lily", said Annie.

She saw her youngest daughter clinging to her daughter. Everyone accept Lillian as their family. Annie thought of Lillian as her grandchild already. She didn't even want to think about what would happen if Sandy wanted custody.

"I want to fight", said Martin.

Martin looked determined and no one was going to get in his way.

"If he doesn't want to give her up, then we take her", said Tony kissing Sandy.

"Alright, we will steal her", sad Sandy smiling.

Tony nodded his head. He didn't like kids but this was the only way for him to get his inheritance from his grandmother. She said that he had to be a family man with at least on kid. He didn't let Sandy know that's the reason though. For some reason him and Sandy tried but failed to have kids so when she told him about the kid she left he jumped at the idea.

"Alright when do you want to do this?", asked Sandy.

"Tomorrow", said Tony.

They continued walking not noticing that someone important was listening to their conversation. The man opened his cell phone and dialed the familiar phone number.

"Martin, I have something to tell you", said the man.

"Who was that?", asked Ruthie shifting herself in bed cuddling closer to him.

"Mac, he said it was important, I wonder what he wants?", asked Martin.

"I don't know but we are going to find out", said Ruthie.

Martin nodded his head.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"Mac come in", said Martin opening the door.

Ruthie stood behind him.

"Hey you guys", said Mac smiling. He took a seat in their living room.

"Alright the reason why I came here tonight is that I have something important to tell you, something I heard", said Mac looking at the both of them.

Mac talked and told them about Sandy and her boyfriend's plan to kidnap Lillian. Martin was livid and Ruthie sat there in shock. She saw Martine clench his fists trying to keep his emotions at bay. He was beyond anger she could tell.

"Martin baby calm down, let me call my dad, and he will get in touch with Srgt. Michaels, we will get to the bottom of this baby, please baby calm down", said Ruthie holding his arms looking at him.

Martin sighed and kissed her gently almost forgetting that Mac was there.

"Alright baby, call your dad", sad Martin letting her get up to do just that.

"I see you and Ruthie are going strong", said Mac smiling.

Martin smiled too. He told Mac everything especially concerning Ruthie.

"I'm going to marry that girl", was one statement that Mac remembered Martin saying clearly.

"Yeah she is my dream girl", said Martin smiling.

"What are you going to do about Sandy, technically she is Lillian's mother", said Mac looking concerned.

He adored Lillian and he spoiled her.

"I'm going to fight for custody, I have the paper work underway. I have already charged Sandy with abandonment, they have the letter she has written and now this, said Martin getting up and showing him another sheet of paper.

"Sandy had going into rehab. I didn't even know that, she basically was in and out of them for years, Lillian was born pre-mature you remember that, she told the doctors not to tell me the reason. My baby was like a crack baby, she was having withdrawals. I always wondered why she was shaking. I want to sue that hospital from keeping that from me, they had no right, I'm Lillian's father", said Martin looking at his best-friend.

"How did you find this out?", asked Mac sitting up.

"Eric, he has some connections, all of that will be brought up in the trial, there is no way that woman is getting within two feet of my child, I'm suing for full custody", said Martin.

Ruthie returned then.

"My dad said that he will call Srgt. Michaels. Also he said that Srgt. Michaels will probably do a background check on this guy that you was talking about Mac", said Ruthie bringing them tray of juice and cookies.

Mac smiled and took some.

"How are they going to find out who he is?", asked Mac sipping his juice.

"I don't know, they are the cops they will find a way. My dad is all over this, he was so angry that Sandy would do this", said Ruthie looking at the boys.

The three of them continued to talk until they heard Lillian crying in the other room.

"It's alright I'll get her", said Ruthie putting her hand on Martin's chest so he would not have to get up.

Martin nodded his head.

"It's late so let me get myself home", said Mac.

"The girlfriend is going to freak out huh?", asked Martin smiling.

Mac rolled his eyes.

"She called me three times already. I don't think this is going to work out for real Martin. This jealousy that she got is driving me up the wall", said Mac.

Martin nodded his head.

"You got lucky, you and Ruthie, I know you are happy with her, she loved your daughter and know this is what you always wanted, I'm happy for you", said Mac.

Martin smiled at his friend.

"You will find the girl for you I know it, and she will make you as happy as Ruthie makes me", said Martin clapping his friend on the shoulders.

"I hope so", said Mac.

Ruthie came out then holding Lillian in her arms. She was singing to her softly. Martin's heart was beating so fast. This woman was his everything. God she was beautiful. Lillian fit so well in her arms. He promised himself that he would not let Sandy get a hold of his daughter.

"You leaving Mac?", asked Ruthie walking up to them.

"Yeah it's late", said Mac smiling at Lillian.

"Mac", yelled Lillian holding out her arms to hug him.

"Hey Lily, the girl I adore", said Mac in a fake French accent that sent Lillian in a fit of giggles.

Ruthie and Martin just shook their heads.

"I have a present at home for you, but I'll give it to you later", said Mac smiling at Lily in his arms.

"Mac", sighed Martin.

"You are spoiling my child", said Martin while Mac repeated the words silently making fun of Martin.

"I saw that", said Martin.

Mac just rolled his eyes and shrugged. He was used to Martin telling him that he spoiled Lillian but hey he was the uncle he had every right to spoil her.

"See you guys later", said Mac handing Lillian over to Martin.

"See ya Mac", said Lillian waving at him and blew him a kiss and giggled.

"Ahh Lillian you are a gem", said Mac smiling at her. Ruthie laughed also. She knew about Lillian special bond to Mac.

"Bye Mac, thanks again", said Ruthie smiling.

She reached over taking Lillian from Martin's arms.

"It's time for bed little lady", said Ruthie kissing her all over the face.

Lillian giggled and waved bye to her father and Mac. Ruthie walked over to Lillian's room to tuck her in. Ruthie smiled at Lillian.

"Oh my precious baby", whispered Ruthie stroking her cheek and smiling at her.

Lillian had already falling asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

"I love you do you know that, I wish so many times that you were biologically mine, I'm afraid Lilybean that Sandy will take you from me. I'm so scared that they will make her your momma, I'm your momma", whispered Ruthie kissing the little girl's forehead.

Tears ran down her cheeks. She was so sad. Martin came into the room and watched her with his daughter. He felt her pain. He knew that this was hurting her and she was keeping it together for him. He knew that she wished every night that Sandy would not come back and they would live together and be a family. He knew how she felt because it was exactly how he felt. He wanted them to stay in this little perfect world where nothing could hurt them but he knew that was impossible. Real world didn't work like that. He knew they had to get through this. He didn't want to lose Ruthie at all. He didn't want Lillian to lose Ruthie as her mother at all. He knew that Sandy would never give Ruthie custody of Lillian even though she didn't want her. She hated Ruthie that much. So Martin knew that he had to play hard ball with her. He wanted her to give up all parental rights so that Ruthie could have parental rights. SO that Lillian could be Ruthie's completely. He knew that it would be hard but he would not give up. Ruthie wanted this, Ruthie deserved this. Martin walked farther into the room. He touched Ruthie's shoulder's Ruthie shifted her body and hugged him tightly and cried in his arms.

"Please Martin don't let her take her from me. I know I'm selfish but I don't want to share Lily", said Ruthie.

She looked up at him with tears flowing down her face.

"Does that make me a bad person?", asked Ruthie.

Martin shook his head no.

"No it makes you a real mother", sad Martin kissing her lips softly.

Ruthie looked up again at him and smiled. She wrapped her arms around his neck kissing him harder than before. Martin cupped her face and kissed her softly again.

"My Ruthie", whispered Martin.

She held unto his waist. She looked at him with her doe like brown eyes and told him something that made his heart race.

"Make love to me", whispered Ruthie looking at him.

Martin closed his eyes trying to get his breathing under control.

"We shouldn't Ruthie I mean what about our wedding night", said Martin taking her hands and began walking towards their room.

He shut off the nightlight besides Lillian and kissed her forehead.

"Good night sweetheart", whispered Martin.

Ruthie did the same thing also. They walked quietly towards the other bedroom.

"Martin I know that waiting for a wedding night makes it special but being with you is what makes it special Martin, I love you so much it hurts you know. I'm 100 percent certain that you are my soul mate. It doesn't matter if we make love now or then because it will be with the right person, you", said Ruthie looking at him.

"I know", said Martin.

He carried her to the bedroom and lay her down gently.

"Are you sure?", asked Martin.

Ruthie nodded her head.

"Make love to my body Martin, you already made love to my heart and soul", whispered Ruthie before arching up and kissing him with all the passion she felt for him.

"My Ruthie", whispered Martin.

He was going to love her tonight and every night for the rest of their lives. He bent down kissing her. She moaned gently against his mouth. He loved that he could make her feel this way. He lifted up her shirt off of her body. He gasped at the sight. She wore no bra. Ruthie smiled at the stunned look on his face.

"God you are beautiful", whispered Martin before bending his head to take one cherry berry nipple into his mouth.

How did she taste so sweet he wonder and smell so good. She was intoxicating. He sucked harder making her arch off the bed. He felt her fingers running through his hair. She was enjoying this that's for sure. He reached out with his other hands and rolled her berry nipple with his first finger and thumb.

"Martin", gasped Ruthie arching once more.

She bit her bottom lip trying to control her moans but it wasn't working. The things he was doing to her body was so good.

"Martin", whispered Ruthie as he stop sucking on her nipples.

He looked down and smiled. Her face was flushed and her hair was spread out on the pillow like a halo. She was his angel and god he loved her. He reached down and pulled down her shorts and underwear pulling it from her body. When he pulled back and looked at her naked form he growled.

"You are so beautiful and you are mine", whispered Martin looking into her eyes.

"Only mine", whispered Martin.

Ruthie nodded her head not being able to speak just then. The possessive glint she saw in his eyes made her wet and moan. Her legs were closed so he gently parted them. Ruthie gasped as he licked her inner thigh. He sucked hard leaving his mark there.

"Martin", whispered Ruthie.

"Let me taste you Ruthie, I know that you taste so sweet", said Martin with his eyes dilated.

He looked dangerous and exotic and sexy all at the same time. Ruthie just nodded her head. She saw him bend his head and lick the outer lips of her virgin first. She arched her back making her breasts jiggle a bit. He smiled and took another lick.

"Oh", whispered Ruthie.

Her mouth was slightly opened and her eyes were shut. He loved seeing her this way. He loved the fact that no one has ever seen her this way. He parted her and took in the smell. He was right she smelled sweet. He lapped up her juices. He knew she was trashing back and forth on the bed moaning his name loudly. She was a moaning, that fact alone got him hard.

"Martin", yelled Ruthie as she came hard against his face.

The cum was too much but he lapped up her juices anyway. She twitched harder.

"Martin", whispered Ruthie.

It seemed like the only words that could utter. He pulled back removing his clothing. He smiled at her as she looked at his erection with awe.

"It's so big", whispered Ruthie touching it.

Martin growled.

"Ruthie", moaned Martin as she stroked him.

God he felt like he would cum. He took her hand off his erection.

"Baby I love that you would do that but I don't want this to be over that fast", said Martin.

Ruthie blushed and nodded her head. She laid back down and opened her arms to him. He smiled and climbed on top of her. He placed a condom on before that. They loved each other but they weren't ready for another baby just yet.

"Baby this might hurt a bit I'm sorry", whispered Martin.

Ruthie nodded her head.

"Just kiss me as you do it then", said Ruthie.

Martin nodded his head taking her lips making her aroused. He gently guided himself into her body. She moaned at his penis came in contact with her virgin hole.

"I love you", whispered Martin before thrusting into her body.

Her eyes widen and she cried out in pain.

"I'm so sorry", whispered Martin holding still.

"Give me a minute it's alright Martin", said Ruthie as she saw the tears in his eyes from hurting her.

He never liked hurting her.

"I'm ready now", said Ruthie.

He looked at her and started moving in and out slowly. She gasped and closed her eyes.

"Am I hurting you?", asked Martin.

"No it feels good", whispered Ruthie taking his lips.

He smiled and moved in and out. The pleasure started getting too much. He felt Ruthie digging her nails into his back.

"Oh my god", said Ruthie moaning and arching her back.

Martin took her nipples into his mouth sucking hard and making her moan out loud. He couldn't control himself it was too much. Their bodies slapped against each other. Ruthie's legs were wrapped around his waist. He flipped her over then. She gasped at the new position.

"Ride me baby", whispered Martin.

Ruthie arched her back and grind down onto his erection. She was gasping harder because this way felt even more pleasurable. He held onto her waist bringing her down over and over onto his pelvic area. She was gasping. He took her nipple into his mouth once more making her close her eyes panting.

"Oh god, oh god", was a mantra on her lips.

He felt it coming from his toes and spreading throughout his body. She kept bouncing on his erection and he was having a hard time holding on. She was so sexy with her head thrown back ad her back arched with her nipples pointing towards him. She was his goddess. He went stiff as she did. He pulled her mouth towards him and felt the scream against his mouth. She came at the same time as he did. Her body was twitching harder and so was his. His legs were thrashing. She felt so good.

"I love you", whispered Ruthie looking him in the eye.

He erupted then. Loads and loads into the condom. He couldn't stop twitching. She held onto his shoulders and he fell back with her on top of him.

"Oh God" were the two words on their lips.

After they calmed down, Martin kissed her wet forehead. She moaned crawling deeper into his embrace. He never felt like this before. This was amazing. He never knew. He never knew. Ruthie sighed and kissed his nipple.

"Good night my love", whispered Martin before closing his eyes.

"Good night baby, love you", whispered Ruthie.

They fell into a deep sleep until a loud crash woke them up. Martin woke up and looked at Ruthie that looked shocked too.

"What was that?", asked Ruthie.

Martin told her to be quiet.

"Call the police and stay in the room", said Martin putting on his boxers and picking up the bat that was in his closet.

Ruthie was scared but she did as she was told. Martin slowly walked towards his daughter's room. What he saw almost made him drop the bat. There was this guy with a gun to his daughter's head.

"What are you doing with that gun, this is not how was supposed to be", said Sandy looking fearful.

"Well this is how we are playing it now", said the man.

"Get away from my daughter", growled Martin coming into the room.

"I don't think so", said the man smiling.

Lillian looked at her father in fear.

"Daddy", cried out Lillian. He little body was trembling in fear. She didn't understand what was going on.

"Someone is in our home, my boyfriend went to check it out please hurry", said Ruthie putting on her clothes with her heart pounding.

She heard a loud gun shot followed by a scream. The phone fell from her hands. Her face had an expression of total shock and horror.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Ruthie sat in the hospital waiting room just staring with blood shot eyes. Tears flowed from them but she didn't bother to wipe them away. The last three hours had been the ultimate test of her faith.

"Ruthie", yelled Annie Camden running towards her daughter.

Ruthie looked at her and couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Oh Ruthie, tell me, is he okay", asked Annie.

Yes that's right. Martin the love of her life was shot in the chest. Ruthie held unto Lillian rocking her back and forth and refused to give her away. She was the only thing that she had of Martin. She was their daughter and she had to witness that psycho take a shot at her father.

"I don't know mom, they still didn't tell me anything", said Ruthie rocking Lillian in her arms.

Annie Camden turned to her husband and he just wrapped her arms around him. He held onto her. He knew that Ruthie didn't want to be touched right now. He knew that his little girl was dying right now and there was nothing he could do to help her.

Flashback……………..

Ruthie dropped the phone and ran towards Lillian's room. The sight she saw made her heart stop. Martin was lying on the floor with blood.

"Noooooooooo", yelled Ruthie running towards him.

Sandy looked on in shock.

"NO Martin, no baby get up, god get up", yelled Ruthie holding him in her arms.

"Mommy, daddy hurt", cried Lillian.

Ruthie reached out and held her family. Ruthie looked up at the man that shot her fiancé.

"Why, why would you do this to him, why", cried out Ruthie.

Tears flowed down her face as she rocked Martin. She heard the sirens flashing and saw the panic on Tony's face. Ruthie saw him running.

"You won't get far, you will be punished for this do you hear me, both of you", yelled Ruthie looking at Sandy.

"I I didn't, I just", said Sandy.

"Shut up, you are a murderer too, you might not have pulled the trigger but you shot him too", said Ruthie crying.

"I'll make you pay for this, for hurting my husband and my daughter", said Ruthie.

Sandy looked at the girl. She wasn't the same girl that she remembered. This girl was stronger and more determined. Sandy felt the rush of jealousy once more. Ruthie Camden didn't know Sandy was jealous of her. Ruthie Camden had everything that she wanted. She had family, the love a man that Sandy knew was a good man, and now even the love of her daughter. She wanted to hate her but she couldn't. She couldn't because she just envied her. She wanted what she had; now it was her fault that Martin might be dying. Sandy looked at Ruthie crying and holding onto her daughter. When Sandy heard Lillian call Ruthie mommy it was like everything became clear to her. This was Ruthie's family. She was the one that messed it up, while Ruthie loved Lillian as her own, she shouldn't have had to. Ruthie and Martin should have been sharing the joys of being parents together for the first time, not Martin doing it by himself. She knew she had to be honest with herself. She knew she got some joy from being able to have something that Ruthie didn't have. But she was fooling herself into thinking that. Lillian wasn't hers. She might have given birth to her but she wasn't hers. Her having sex with Martin didn't constitute her being a mother; it was her just having sex nothing more nothing less. She would be forever Martin's mistake. Lillian wasn't a mistake to him she was.

"Martin please baby please, don't leave me", cried Ruthie kissing his forehead but he still had not made a sound, no movement, no sound.

He couldn't leave her like this. The cops rushed in then and the EMT took Martin as well as Ruthie with Lillian held closely in her arms. Ruthie looked back at Sandy once more and Sandy understood. She had to tell them her role in all of this. Sandy bowed her head down and told the police everything about her and Tony's plan.

End of Flashback…………….

"Martin Brewer?", asked a young doctor walking towards the Camden family.

Ruthie's head snapped up. Her heart was pounding and her hands were sweating. Her daughter was asleep in her arms and she was her strength. Lillian kept her going the past few hours. Entertaining her daughter kept her mind off of the fact that her soon to be husband was in an operating room having a bullet removed from her chest. That very though alone killed her. It made her want to cry, yell, and throw things. Martin was her strength and her hope and the fact that she didn't have him there to wipe away her tears and calm her down when she was upset. He was the force that kept that this family together. Now with him not there she felt empty inside like she couldn't breathe almost. When did Martin become such a part of her she wondered? She guessed he was always of part of her since that day he walked into her backyard. She thought he was Simon's friend. He spent the whole day with her and even though she was younger then she loved him. Even though she had been with Peter, Vincent, Jack, and every other knuckle head out there he was a part of who she was. She had sat in that waiting room after calling her whole family as well as Martin's dad to tell them the news and held her daughter and told her stories about her dad. She also remembered her times with Martin when they first got together.

Flashback………

"Martin", laughed Ruthie while being tickled by Martin.

They had been watching TV when Martin started to tickle her claiming she was being too serious all the time.

"Martin", yelled Ruthie giggling trying to move his hands away.

He flipped her over pinning her and laying on top of her closing his eyes.

"Martin, get off of me", said Ruthie but Martin laid there kissing her neck and smiling.

"Oh Martin", moaned Ruthie.

Martin removed his lips from her neck and smiled.

"Ruthie, I love you", said Martin looking at her seriously.

Ruthie slowly smiled until she had a full blown smile on her face.

"I love you too baby", whispered Ruthie pulling him down and kissing him.

After kissing he stayed there on top of her and closed his eyes. His face nestled on her neck. She ran her fingers through his hair making him sigh. She began humming a little bit. This was their time together. She loved him in her arms.

"What are you singing", asked Martin with his head on her chest.

"Just a Closer Walk With Thee, Lucy loved that song and used to sing it all the time. She is the best singer I remember. She used to sing it to the boys when they were younger. They wouldn't stop crying to Lucy packed them up and held them singing to them to give mom and dad a break. They calmed down fast after that", answered Ruthie still running her fingers through his hair.

This was making him sleepy. He ran his fingers through Lillian hair all the time to get her to sleep. It must have been something she inherited from him.

End flashback………….

"Martin is okay, we removed the bullet from his chest and he is breathing on his own. I'm telling you that man is a fighter. There were times that we thought that he wouldn't make it", said the doctor smiling.

The doctor smiled even more when he saw the pure joy on everyone's faces.

"Can I ask? Who is Ruthie?", asked the doctor.

A young woman carrying who he assumed was Martin's daughter said, "I am".

"Oh so I have you to thank for keeping Martin alive", said the doctor. Ruthie looked confused.

"He screamed your name, yelling, his heart was failing we were do all we could, it was like he was having this fight or something be began thrashing around, and swinging his arms around. We were trying to keep him calm when he yelled out your name before falling back onto the operating table, it was the most amazing sight I have ever seen. He must really love you", said the doctor.

"I love him too, can we see him?", asked Ruthie wiping the stray tears that flowed down her face.

"In a little while", said Doctor.

"He is still out, he might be a little out of it when you see him so don't be alarmed", said the doctor before walking away.

Lillian woke up then.

"Mommy, where's daddy?", asked Lillian.

"He will be with us soon I promise baby I promise", said Ruthie kissing her forehead.

Everyone smiled at the picture that they made. Martin's father steeped up to Ruthie. His eyes were bloodshot. He had been beyond scared when he had received the call that his son had been shot at. Ruthie Camden, the girl, no the woman that his son loved called him and told him the devastating news. He could tell that she had been crying and that she was still crying over the phone.

"He was shot, we are at the hospital now", said Ruthie crying over the phone holding onto Lillian.

Her words killed something inside him that very moment. He basically sped to the hospital to find the girl surrounded by her family with his granddaughter in her arms gently rocking her to sleep. Martin's dad saw that anytime that someone wanted to take Lillian form Ruthie she flat out refused telling them that no one would take her daughter from her until they got word about Martin. He smiled at her determined look. No one would tell her that Martin wouldn't be with them. He admired the young woman that Martin chose to be with. Ruthie Camden was the girl he wanted his son with, the girl that he had always wanted his son with. He never let Martin know this because he wanted Martin to make his own choices. But Ruthie Camden that would have been his choice. This girl reminded him so much of Martin's mother. He knew that Martin's mother would have loved her. God it was times like these that made him miss his wife even more.

Everyone had been in and out of Martin's room. Ruthie went in last with Lillian in her arms. Martin looked up when he saw the door opening and smiled.

My god she is beautiful. It makes me almost forget the pain, I said almost. Do you know how painful it is to have a bullet go through your chest? All I kept thinking was that I would never see my girls again; that this was it and I was going to leave her. I was afraid that she would never forgive me.

"Hey", whispered Ruthie.

"Hey", I say.

I know it sounds stupid but I couldn't say nothing else. I know she had been crying and that she was scared for me. I knew all of this because everyone that walked that walked through those doors told me that Ruthie cried but she had been strong for Lillian. I even laughed when they told me that Ruthie actually growled at Annie Camden for actually suggesting that she give up Lillian so that Lillian could go sleep at their home. Her answer was a growl and holding Lillian tighter.

"We are waiting for Martin mom", said Ruthie before turning her attention back to her daughter.

Ruthie smiled at him before climbing into the bed next to him. He had moved over to give her room. Lillian lay in between them holding onto Ruthie's arms sleeping. Ruthie on her side closed her eyes.

"I love you Martin", said Ruthie laying her head on his pillow next to his head.

"I love you too Ruthie", said Martin closing his eyes because the painkillers were making it hard to stay awake.

At that moment they weren't going to worry about Tony, Sandy or anything else right that moment it was just them and Lillian their little family and that was all that mattered.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"You have everything?", asked Ruthie.

Martin looked around the small hospital room that he had spent the last 3 weeks.

"Yeah I do, can you get my bag over there I would get it but", said Martin.

Ruthie looked at him with tears in her eyes. She walked over to him hugging him around the waist gently. His chest still hurt at times.

"Don't cry baby I'm alright", whispered Martin running his fingers through her longer hair.

She was growing it out for him because he loved long hair. She would giggle at him and say that he loved her hair more than he loved her. He would laugh at that.

"Martin, I almost lost you, do you understand?", asked Ruthie holding his waist and running her hand up and down his back

. "I know baby but it's over now, they caught the guy that did this and everything will be better now and you can adopt Lillian, she can be your legally now", said Martin leaning his chin on her head.

Ruthie sighed. Martin hated talking about it. She knew he had nightmares but he didn't want to feel week in front of her. She wanted to talk to him about it but he seemed not to want to at all. She was scared about that. Ruthie remembered being there one night and him had a nightmare.

Flashback…………………….

"No, get away from them, leave them alone", whimpered Martin in his sleep.

Ruthie was startled out of her seat. She had been sleeping in the hospital with Martin every night. She walked up to him and shook him a little bit. He seemed to be tossing and turning in his sleep though. She wiped the sweat from his forehead and whispered,

"Martin, baby get up it's just a dream", said Ruthie.

He whimpered more before shooting up in the bed almost knocking Ruthie down. He was panting and sweating.

"Martin its okay its okay", said Ruthie over and over again holding him to her.

He lay back on the bed and shivered. Ruthie looked at him kissing his forehead. He held onto her arm.

"Don't leave me, please I can't lose you, you can't leave me", said Martin looking into Ruthie's face. He was close to tears. "I'm not I promise, I'm always here, baby, me and Lillian and all the other babies we will have, together forever baby forever", said Ruthie cupping his face kissing his lips gently.

Martin nodded his head and shivered once more. Ruthie wanted to ask what he was dreaming about. She had an idea though. But she also knew that Martin wouldn't talk about it.

"Stay with me", whispered Martin.

Ruthie nodded her head getting on the bed with him. She held him and soothed his hair. He fell asleep a little while later. Ruthie stayed awake though holding her man.

"I love you Martin", whispered Ruthie.

End of Flashback……………………

"Let's get out of here", said Martin smiling down at Ruthie.

Ruthie smiled and squealed. She was happy that he was coming home to them. It had been so hard to be in the apartment by herself. She missed him so much. Lillian had been staying with her parents while she stayed at night at the hospital with Martin.

"Let's go get our daughter" said Ruthie smiling.

Ruthie drove towards the Camden home while humming along with the radio. Martin teased her constantly about her singing.

"I can sing", said Ruthie pouting.

"Aww baby I love your voice", said Martin kissing her as they walked up to the Camden home.

They didn't even ring the bell before the door was opened.

"Luce", said Ruthie laughing.

"I saw you guys pull up", said Lucy smiling sheepishly.

Ruthie giggled. The Camden family was still as nosy as ever. Martin walked in behind Ruthie smiling at Lucy.

"Lillian is in the living room", said Lucy smiling.

Martin walked towards the living room and jumped back.

"Welcome Home", yelled out everyone.

Martin was shocked looking at everyone.

"Welcome Homes Daddy", yelled Lillian running towards them.

"Lily Bean, don't jump on daddy, his chest still hurts baby", said Ruthie catching the little girl.

Lillian nodded her head. She walked towards her dad wrapping her arms around his legs gently. Martin smiled down at his little girl. Ruthie came and picked her up. Martin wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"Thanks it's good to be home", said Martin.

He went to greet everyone. Kevin looked at Martin giving him a signal that he needed to talk to him. It was important.

"Excuse me baby, I have to talk to Kevin, alright I'll tell you later, promise", said Martin kissing her forehead knowing she wanted to know what was going on.

Ruthie nodded her head kissing him gently before letting Martin walk into the kitchen with Kevin. Ruthie sighed.

"It's alright baby", said Annie rubbing Ruthie's back.

"I know it's just Martin, he doesn't want to talk about his nightmares, I know he is having them. I'm scared that he is not opening up to me. I hate that he doesn't talk to me", said Ruthie looking down.

Annie kissed her daughter's head.

"Tell him, tell him what you just told me. He is probably scared to talk about it, talk to him then", said Annie.

Ruthie nodded her head turning her head to watch her little girl. Lillian gave her a small smiled and turned her attention back to Savannah.

"She is going to be completely mine Mom, Sandy gave up her rights, mom", said Ruthie smiling.

Annie smiled as well. Another grandchild to spoil.

Martin sat down at the table in the kitchen, while Kevin took a seat across from him.

"He tried Martin for attempted Murder and Kidnapping, Sandy will testify against him, she copped a plea so she doesn't have to do time, she might get probation and community service though", said Kevin.

Martin nodded his head but said nothing.

"Martin you need to talk to Ruthie, to somebody", said Kevin looking at the young man.

Martin's head snapped up at this.

"About what?", asked Martin.

Kevin lifted his eyebrows kind of like saying are you kidding me.

"I can't, I just I can't be weak", said Martin running his hands through his hair.

"She is your girl, she is going to be your wife, Martin. She won't think of you as weak, this woman is supposed to be your best-friend. You can tell her anything. Talk to her, trust me I know she wants to probably talk about it too", said Kevin.

"I know I know I'm hurting her by not telling her, it's hard I'm usually this strong person in front of her. No that's a lie. What was I thinking? Ruthie would understand", said Martin more to himself than to Kevin.

Kevin just smiled.

"Yeah she would, she does", said Kevin patting his back before getting up and walking into the living room.

The party continued for a while until everyone saw that Lillian had fallen asleep and Martin looked tired too. Ruthie drove them home, opening the apartment door. Martin smiled at what he saw. Ruthie added some of her things to make it more home-like. Most guys would be upset but not Martin. He loved that she stayed here. They didn't tell their parents that they were like living together. Ruthie still had a dorm room but she never used it.

"Let me put Lily Bean to bed", whispered Ruthie.

Ruthie opened the door and gasped. Flashes of that day entered her mind and she stood frozen at the door. Tears ran down her face unchecked. Martin walked to the hallway to see Ruthie standing at Lillian's room door frozen in place. He walked towards her and touched her shoulders. As soon as he did, she broke down in sobs. Martin pulled her into him. Lillian was nestled between them.

"Give me a minute", whispered Martin taking Lillian from her arms.

He took a deep breath and walked into that room. He just walked to the little bed and put his daughter to sleep on it. He checked all the windows in the room before walking out and closing the door. He then leaned his whole body against the door. He was trembling. He knew he had to get help. He needed to talk to Ruthie about it. He had to or he would lose his mind.

"Let's talk baby", whispered Martin taking her hand into his and walking towards the bedroom.

He sat her down.

"I'm scared Ruthie, my mind it just, it's playing tricks on me, I keep seeing the gun and it's not pointed at me it's pointed at you and Lillian. He came to take my family from me. I just god, he just pulled out the gun", said Martin seemingly lost to the world as he spoke to Ruthie about his fears.

His hand was trembling trying to keep his composure. Ruthie took his hands bring it up to her cheek and rubbing her cheek gently over his fingers.

"I know I felt like I lost you, I couldn't breath and god, I just wanted to", whispered Ruthie crying in his arms.

Martin held onto her.

"That night was the best night of my life and then it turned into a nightmare the next morning, Martin. Baby you scared me. I thought I lost you again", whispered Ruthie looking up at him with her big brown eyes.

"You never lost me", said Martin kissing her gently.

That night they spent all night talking to each other. They talked and talked trying to heal from the pain. They knew one night wasn't going to ease the pain but it was a start. They had things to worry about though. Like the trial against Tony, going to court to get Lillian to be Ruthie's legally. And most important their wedding. But for now they would heal each other's wounds and hearts.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8:

"Do you of sound body and mind do adhere to this?", asked the Judge looking at the woman sitting next to him.

He had heard all about her. Sandy Welch was her name. She and her boyfriend orchestrated a kidnapping and her daughter's father ended up almost losing his life. It was cases like these that always made him mad. How could this woman do such a thing. He looked up and saw the little girl's father and his girlfriend sitting next to each other. The younger girl was holding Lillian in her arms like a mother would. He was happy that at least Lillian had parents, real parents that loved her.

"Yes, I don't want my rights", answered Sandy looking at Ruthie.

Ruthie gave her no expression however. Her face was totally blank but Sandy knew that Ruthie hated her. She didn't really blame her though. Sandy sighed at she signed the papers.

"Do you want to go through with the adoption right away, you can fill out the paper work here", asked the judge.

"Yes", both Ruthie and Martin answered without hesitation.

Sandy looked at the little girl in Ruthie's arms. Sandy knew that Lillian belonged there. Lillian fit well into that little family. Her, Martin, and Lillian never looked the part of the family. But Ruthie she fit with them well. Sandy tried to curb her jealousy but it was hard. She wanted to hate Ruthie. She took Martin, Lillian, and now Tony. She wasn't thinking rationally she knew that Tony was at fault but she wanted to blame Ruthie.

"Mommy", whispered Lillian smiling at Ruthie.

The judge smiled when Ruthie's whole face lit up at Lillian calling her that.

"Potty", said Lillian.

Ruthie smiled at her.

"Can you excuse us", asked Ruthie taking Lillian's hands and leading her to the bathroom.

The judge had nodded his head. Sandy finished signing her name on all the documents. Martin looked at her and tried to cover up his hate for her. He couldn't help it though. She was indirectly responsible for him getting shot. She brought this monster here. She was going to let that crazy man take his daughter away from him. He just couldn't understand it. What did he ever do to her?

"Alright Mr. Brewer", said the judge calling him over.

Martin walked towards the judge. He took the papers and smiled. This paper was just one more step for Ruthie to be Lillian's mother. She already was if he had anything to say about. Sandy looked at him.

"Martin", said Sandy.

Martin tried to keep himself from lashing out at her.

"I'm sorry", said Sandy looking down.

"Why I find that hard to believe, just stay away from me and my family, Sandy, you and your crazy boyfriend", said Martin.

He thanked the judge before walking out. He was seethed.

"Martin please wait", yelled out Sandy running up to him.

"I have nothing to say to you, I have to find my family", said Martin glaring at her.

"I didn't know he was going to pull out a gun, I didn't know", said Sandy trying to make Martin understand.

"If you knew would you have stopped him?", asked Martin.

Ruthie walked out then with Lillian in her arms. She heard Martin ask Sandy. Sandy looked down.

"You would let that lunatic kill him?", asked Ruthie.

"Good you are crazy too, stay away from Martin and stay away from Lillian. You can not come near my family again. You are sick god have mercy on your soul", said Ruthie looking at the woman with disgust.

Martin said nothing but Ruthie saw him trembling. His nightmares had gotten worse and she convinced him to seek help. She was getting help as well because she couldn't get the image of Martin dying out of her mind. She also made Lillian go with her. She wanted to make sure that Lillian did not suffer from any post traumatic stress from seeing her father shot. Lillian was still young but Ruthie did not want her to wake up one day when she is older and be scared to face life because of what happened to her father. "Let's go home", said Ruthie.

"WE can't you have to fill out the adoption papers", said Martin.

Ruthie nodded her head holding Lillian closer to her and glaring at Sandy that stood there.

"Why do you hate me so much, what did I ever do to you?", asked Martin.

"You didn't love me like you love her", answered Sandy looking him in the eye.

He looked at her and shook her head.

"You can't force someone to love you, but somehow you thought that you could, you always knew that I love you, and you should know that I will always love her, maybe you can find what you are looking for but I'm not it, good bye Sandy", said Martin walking towards Ruthie that was waiting for him.

"Bye Sandy", said Lillian waving.

She shrugged her shoulders when Sandy didn't answer. Lillian knew that Sandy did that sometimes. Her mom would never ignore her.

Two months later. ...

"All rise Judge Fletcher will be presiding", called out the bailiff.

The all stood than sat down when he motioned them to do so.

"How do you plea?", asked the Judge looking at Tony.

"Not Guilty", said Tony.

Ruthie and Martin stare at him in disbelief.

"On what grounds?", asked the judge.

He thought they agreed that Tony would plead guilty.

"ON the grounds of self defense your honor", said Tony smirking.

"Alright let's proceed".

Martin walked into the apartment seething with rage. Ruthie sat down on the coach watching him yell out and scream in rage. He wanted to hit something.

"Martin", yelled Ruthie when she tried calling his name and he didn't hear her.

Martin was startled back when he heard Ruthie. He saw the flash of fear before she covered it up.

"God Ruthie baby, I'm sorry I shouldn't have yelled and screamed like that", said Martin coming up to her and cupping her face.

He kissed her forehead.

"Did I scare you I'm sorry I didn't mean to", said Martin.

"I know I just never saw you like that", said Ruthie.

"I know I just, god he is going to play this like this is my fault, the only witnesses are Lillian and Sandy and we know we can't count on Sandy to tell the truth", said Martin rubbing his face.

He was stressed out.

"It's alright it will work out in the end, the lawyers will do their job, he won't get away with this", said Ruthie.

Martin sighed nodding his head.

"Let's go to bed baby, my mom said that she would watch Lillian for tonight, come to bed and let me relieve some of your stress", said Ruthie grinning.

Martin grinned also already getting excited. Ruthie took his hands walking to the bedroom with him. She closed her eyes rolling her hips slowing making him pant with want.

"Do you like what you see?", asked Ruthie smiling at him.

He nodded up and down like a bob head doll.

"Then you are going to love this?", said Ruthie smiling at him.

She un buttoned her blouse pushing it out of the way. He walked towards her taking her arms and kissing her shoulder blade. He licked her neck before nibbling on it. She gasped in pleasure. It was amazing really. He made her feel so alive and she wanted him so badly. He reached behind her and unzipped her skirt making it fall to the ground. He growled when he felt her thong clad behind. He massaged her but making her gasp in pleasure. She reached out and unzipped his pants pulling both that and his boxers down. His manhood stood at attention, the head was slightly pointing left. Ruthie reached out massage it with her hand until a drip came out of the pin needle head of his penis. He was moaning loudly. He pulled her towards him kissing her with a fierce passion. He knew that he loved this woman, he wanted her know. He removed his pants completely before picking her up and walking towards the bed. He removed his shirt. Ruthie smiled. He had the best body. His muscles from playing basketball. Now he had a scar from where the bullet pierced his chest. She reached out tracing the mark, that marred his perfect skin. She kissed his softly, licking it making sure that when he remembered the scar that he remembered also that she loved him. He groaned again. He reached out removing her thong and opening her legs. He buried his face in her moist curls making her arch her back and groan in obvious pleasure.

" Martin", screamed Ruthie as she felt her orgasm coming.

Martin pulled his head back then, quickly put on a condom, and thrust hard into her waiting heat. He felt the contractions around his penis and almost came himself. It was amazing to be joined with his one true love. It was close to heaven really. He bent down taking her berry nipple in her mouth sucking on it like a starved man. She was out of control and urged him to flip over. She was riding him now. Her long hair flowing down her back, her neck snapped back, her back arched, and her mouth wide open trying to not scream. To him she was a picture of perfection. Ruthie Camden was a woman, a sexual being and he was beyond happy that she would share her sexuality with him. He loved how she would prance around in her little outfits driving him wild, he loved her flirtations, and most of all he loved her screaming his name when they made passionate love to one another. He pulled her nipples making her grind more onto his penis. She arched her back, snapped her head back, and screamed for all to hear. He smiled, it was his name on her lips.

"Martttttinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn".

He respond back with her name the only name that he will ever say like that again,

"Ruthiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeee, oh godddddddddddddd".

They both came in an explosion. Their bodies twitching and them gasping. But it wasn't release for them, every time they made love they saw what man did not have the privilege of seeing, they saw each other's souls. At the moment they would not care about Tony, because he was irrelevant in their world, right now it was them. It will be them as soon as he marries his goddess.

"Love you Martin", whispered Ruthie before sleep claim her.

Martin smiled running his fingers through her hair, "Love you too", whispered Martin.

And that was all that was important.


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note: **This fiction is coming to an end. There is only 1 more chapter after this. I think it's a good place to end it. 10 full chapters. I hope you enjoy this chapter, and hopeful I will have the next chapter up by Tomorrow, or even tonight if you pray hard enough. LoL. Anyway onto Chapter 9. Check out all my other fics if you want to get into my crazy mind. Peace

Chapter 9

The trail went on but Tony's defense wasn't working. It actually crumpled when as a shocking thing, Sandy admitted to everyone what Tony's plan was. With Ruthie, Martin, and now Sandy' testimony, they didn't feel the need to put Lillian on the stand. "It's time for the verdict", said Ruthie. Martin nodded his head walking into the courtroom with his hand firmly in Ruthie's. The whole family was there. Annie gave him a smile before turning her attention back to the proceedings.

"What is the verdict?", asked the judge turning to the jury.

"On the count of kidnapping in the first degree", said the judge.

"Guilty", said the foremen.

Martin sighed in relief. Tony clenched his fists.

"SO say you all?", asked the judge.

The jury nodded their heads.

"On the counts of attempted murder in the first degree?", asked the judge looking at the jury.

"Guilty", said the foreman once more.

Tony's face crumbled. He looked ready to cry in fact. Because that was a big one. That will ensure him many years in prison.

"So say you all?", asked the judge.

All of the jury nodded their heads. Martin blocked out the other lesser charges being read. He smiled. He looked and Ruthie and kissed her mouth softly. Now their lives could begin. He watched as they pulled Tony out of the courtroom. Martin looked him straight in the eye. Tony looked back at him and said nothing. Martin didn't have to say anything for him to convey what he was feeling at that moment. He felt Ruthie slip her hand into his as a sign of support. Tony stood higher but when Martin looked at him with all the disgust he felt for him. Tony backed down. Lillian ran to her father then.

"Daddy", said Lillian smiling as Martin lifted her up.

Martin kissed her forehead looking at Tony.

"Never", was the one word that Martin uttered.

Tony was lead away then to spend his time in prison. There would be a trial where he would be given his sentence but Martin didn't care. All he cared about was the Tony was no longer an issue in his life. That his family was safe. He gritted his teeth when Sandy stepped up. Ruthie rubbed his back trying to calm him down. Sandy looked at him holding Lillian in his arms.

"I am sorry, Martin I know you may never forgive me but I am", said Sandy looking at them.

She reached out to touch his arm but he flinched back. Sandy retracted her hand right away. She knew she deserved that.

"I will forgive you but not for your sake but for mine, for my peace of mind. My soon to be wife told me that forgiveness is something powerful. I want to feel peace with this. But now this Sandy, I will never forget. You will not see my daughter because it's not like you wanted her anyway. She has a family that loves, a family that includes, aunts and uncles, grandma and grandpas, a father, and most important a mother that she should have had but that you couldn't provide for her. Ruthie Brewer is her mother forever and always", said Martin looking at her.

Sandy nodded her head.

"I know I've always known", said Sandy.

Martin looked at her.

"I hope you find your peace, because I have", said Martin.

Sandy looked at him and nodded once more. Ruthie stepped up then looking at Sandy. She gave her a nod before pulling Martin away. At the last moment Ruthie walked back.

"Thank you, for giving them to me", said Ruthie.

Sandy looked up in shock.

"They were always yours to begin with. I'm sorry I took them from you", said Sandy.

Ruthie nodded her head.

"I can't forget Sandy, it's always on my mind, him dying, he will never go away, and maybe if it were different we could have been friends but I can't", said Ruthie looking at the girl.

" I know I can't be friends with you because I still hate you, its not my fault I just do", said Sandy honestly.

Ruthie actually flinched back at the word hate. Ruthie nodded her head and walked back to Martin.

"Then I feel sorry for you", said Ruthie before walking out of the courtroom.

2 months later

"Mommy", yelled Lillian.

Ruthie ran to her room. Lillian was clutching her sheets in fright.

"Oh baby what's wrong?", asked Ruthie pulling her into her arms and rubbing her back.

"Bad dwream" said Lillian.

Ruthie sighed. Lillian had been having these dreams for a while now. She finally convinced Martin to make Lillian seek help as well. She was young but it seemed that Lillian was remembering that bad man that hurt her father. Martin walked into the room. He clenched his fists. His daughter once more was scared. He hated it. He hated the fact that he couldn't protect them. Ruthie had also being suffering as well. He knew that it wouldn't go away but he hated that he couldn't help. Lillian finally fell asleep in Ruthie's arms. Martin tucked her in before taking Ruthie's hands and pulling her into their room. Ruthie looked at him with her big brown eyes and cried in his arms. He just held her. He rocked her like he would Lillian. He softly with his husky voice hummed a song to her. It was a song that his mother used to sing to him.

"Oh yes Jesus loves me, Oh yes Jesus loves me, Oh yes Jesus loves me cause the bible tells me so", sang Martin.

Ruthie heard him singing and buried herself more into his arms.

"I love you baby girl", whispered Martin.

Ruthie sighed.

"I love you too", whispered Ruthie closing her eyes and letting sleep take over.

5 months later...

"So how are the nightmares?", asked Doctor Sadeh.

"They have gotten better, Ruthie has really helped me", answered Martin sitting in the office.

Doctor Sadeh nodded his head.

"Martin I am proud of you, you have come a long way, I still think you should see me though, but not as often as you do now", said Doctor Sadeh.

Martin nodded his head.

"SO same time next week?", asked Martin getting up after another session.

Doctor Sadeh nodded his head.

"Yes Martin, same time next week", said Doctor Sadeh.

Martin nodded his head leaving the office. He smiled when he spotted Ruthie and Lillian sitting in the waiting room for him. Ruthie lifted up her head giving him her special smiled reserved just for him.

"How did it go?", asked Ruthie.

"Good", said Martin kissing the top of her head.

"Good", whispered Ruthie.

She took hold of Lillian's hands and walked with Martin to the car.

"What are we doing today?", asked Martin as they got in the car.

"Ice cream", yelled Lillian giggling.

"Well you heard the lady, ice cream", said Ruthie giggling.

Martin smiled at his girls.

"Ice cream it is", said Martin.

Later on that night...

Kevin and Lucy told them that they would watch Lillian for them. Martin was taking Ruthie out to dinner. She was dressed in her fines outfit. It was a simple black dress and her hair was pinned up and loose curls fell from it.

"Wow", whispered Martin when she came out of their room.

Ruthie blushed and smiled when she saw him dressed in his suit. He looked beyond good.

"Wow is what I say about you too Mr. Brewer", said Ruthie smiling.

Martin took her arms and walked them to his car. They ate at this fancy restaurant.

Ruthie shook her head when Martin said, "Why do they have so many forks".

Ruthie smiled and told him which one was for which. Martin smiled at her.

"Care to dance?", asked Martin reached over the table.

Ruthie smiled getting up and walking towards the dance floor. Martin pulled her closer to his body. He loved her smell. She smelled like strawberries tonight. Ruthie closed her eyes listening to the lyrics. It conveyed exactly how she felt. It was an oldie but it was one of her favorite songs. The song was called "At last" by Ella Fitzgerald. It was actually her father that got her into the older songs.

**At last my love has come along  
My lonely days are over  
And life is like a song  
At last the skies above are blue  
And my heart was wrapped up in clover  
The night I looked at you  
I found a dream that I can speak to  
A dream that I could call my own  
I found a thrill to press my cheek to  
A thrill that I have never known  
You smiled, and then the spell was cast  
And here we are in heaven  
And you are mine at last **

Ruthie sang the lyrics softly in Martin's ears. Martin felt his heart speed up. He looked at Ruthie brushing her hair from her forehead.

"I love you", whispered Martin.

Ruthie smiled and before she could respond Martin got down on his knees in front of her. It was then Ruthie noticed that the music had stopped and everyone, that is her whole family was there looking on at her with a smile. Martin took hold of her hand.

"Ruthie Camden, you have been my world for so long. You have been my strength, my love, my everything. You took possession of my heart and I have never felt more happy that you did. You are the woman of my dreams, my soul mate. I never knew that the day that I followed you into your house that that would be the day I would meet my soul mate. You have been the most constant thing in my life. I trust you with my mind, my heart, and my soul. I thank God everyday that I found you and that he sent you to me. Because that is how I feel Ruthie, you are my angel sent directly by God. But those are just pretty words, my heart can't say all that I want to tell you that you are the keeper to my soul. Ruthie Camden you are my everything", whispered Martin with a tear sliding down his face.

Ruthie was crying now too. She looked at him smiling. Before she could say anything, he reached into his pocket and presented a small ring box. Ruthie's hands went to her mouth trying to hold onto her cries.

"Ruthie Camden, I know I asked you before but I want to do this the right way, will you wear my mother's ring, will you be my wife forever", asked Martin.

Ruthie let out a cry, tears rolling down her face. She kneeled down in front of him. She looked him in the eye.

"Yes I will be your wife", said Ruthie smiling.

Martin smiled a smile that they have never seen before. He slipped the ring onto her finger. Ruthie looked at it before throwing herself into his arms.

"Yay", yelled Lillian running towards them.

Ruthie smiled at her little girl.

"Mommy and daddy are going to get married", said Ruthie kissing her forehead.

Lillian smiled. Ruthie looked up to see her father gather around her. Annie and Eric were crying and smiling at the same time. Simon was there, Lucy, and Kevin and even their daughter. This was the best night of her entire life. She was going to be Martin's wife forever. **  
**


	10. Chapter 10

Author's Note: I know, I know, it has taken too long to get this last chapter out. But between handling my mother, the Christmas Nazi, and the NYC bus strike making me walk everywhere, it has been hard. I wanted the last chapter to be good but I don't know if it is. Anyway thanks for all of you that read the story and left Reviews. I did enjoy writing it and I hope you enjoyed reading it. Anyway here is Chapter 10. Thanks.

Chapter 10

It's been a while since I wrote in this book. My life has change a lot I must say. My name is Martin Brewer and these past years have been a learning experience for me. I know I wrote to you about my daughter. Yeah she is 6 years old right now starting the first grade which she is excited about for some reason. Yes she is very excited that is all she has talked about for the past few months. It is driving me up the wall but I do love seeing my daughter happy. After the whole trail Ruthie had insisted that Lillian get professional help as well. It has worked too. I mean she does get a random nightmare here and there but it has calmed down a lot since.

Right now you are wondering why I choose to write in this journal. I guess the explanation is simple. I felt this is the day that my life as come full circle. I mean it's amazing to think about it. This day was the day that I kissed Ruthie Camden for the first time. This was the day that I final told her that I loved her that I will always love her. I mean it's important you know. It's important because this day even though sometimes painful was one of the most monumental days of my life. It was the day that I finally admit to myself that I, Martin Brewer was in love with this angel. Yes I said Angel because that is what she is to me. I guess you are wondering what these last 4 years have been like with Ruthie. Well let me break it down for you.

Flashback………………….

4 years ago:

Ruthie and Martin was sitting in their living room. It was just a random day really. They had gone to school and picked up Lillian afterwards.

"Lillian eat your peas", said Martin.

He rolled his eyes when she gave the peas a disgusted look. Ruthie giggled.

"Oh baby you know that peas will make you strong and that means that you will live a long time and be with me and your dad forever, don't you want that?", asked Ruthie.

Lillian smiled and dug into her peas. Martin shook his head. Ruthie was so good at this.

"SO Ruthie when are you going to make an honest man out of me and marry me", said Martin smiling.

Ruthie smiled also.

"Christmas, Martin, Christmas", said Ruthie smiling.

Martin smiled too.

"Christmas it is", said Martin kissing her forehead.

The next couple of months had been hectic trying to get the marriage plan underway.

"Mom I'm not going to make my bridesmaids wear green", said Ruthie rolling her eyes and sighing.

Her mother was driving her up the wall with this but she knew that her mother just wanted what was best fro her.

"Alright baby what color do you want then?", asked Annie.

"Red, I want a red and white wedding. Roses have to be red and white", said Ruthie.

Annie nodded her head smiling.

"So how has school been going?", asked Annie.

"Great mom, I finally decided what I want to do", said Ruthie smiling.

"Well what is it?", asked Annie.

"Well I know it sounds a little out of character for me, but I want to be a social worker, I want to help children that have been abandoned", said Ruthie smiling.

"No Ruthie that job seems really into character, and very much a Camden tradition", said Annie smiling obviously proud of her daughter.

"What about Martin?", asked Annie.

"Ironically even though he loves baseball that's not what he wants to do, he wants to be a lawyer, and also deal with family affairs, he wants us to work together to make sure that the foster care system is working right, that adoption agencies place children correctly, everything mom", said Ruthie smiling.

"SO he would deal with the legal aspect while you deal with the personal aspect", said Annie.

"Yes exactly", answered Ruthie.

"Ruthie, I don't know if I ever say it enough, but me and your father are so proud of you, I mean you have stepped up and have become a wonderful mother, you will have an excellent career, and be a great wife to a man that loves you. It has been what me and your father has always wanted. I am so proud of you", said Annie with tears in her eyes.

Ruthie was crying as well. She hugged her mother. Today was a great day. It was however only one of the many great days that she would enjoy though.

Christmas Day……….

"Are you nervous?", asked Mac smiling at his friend. He knew what a long journey it took for Martin to get here marrying the love of his life.

"No I'm not, I always hoped that I would you know. I love her and she is marrying me", said Martin in awe.

He still got butterflies whenever he thought about it. Ruthie Camden was marrying him.

Martin walked and saw Lucy standing in front of the church. She was going to marry them. Eric Camden wanted to play the role of the father giving his daughter away. The church was beautifully decorated with white and red roses like Ruthie wanted. The men were in black tuxes with a red or white rose in their lapel. Martin smiled when he heard the first chord of a song that Ruthie picked out. Ruthie had picked her brother's and sisters to walk in the ceremony. Martin had a huge smile on his face. Nothing could ruin this day for him. It was the day he would marry Ruthie Camden. Martin looked up. It was time.

_**(I do swear that I'll always be there. I'd give anything  
and everything and I will always care. Through weakness  
and strength, happiness and sorrow, for better, for worse,  
I will love you with every beat of my heart.) **_

Kevin walked in with Annie. However Kevin only had eyes for his wife. He was remembering the day he married his soul mate. Martin smiled when she smiled at him. His heart was beating fast. Mac stood proudly next to him. His smile was wide. He couldn't stop smiling. ****

From this moment life has begun  
From this moment you are the one  
Right beside you is where I belong  
From this moment on

_**  
**_Next came in Matt and Sarah. Matt gave him a nod telling him to take care of Ruthie. He nodded back telling Matt that he would. Sarah was glowing because well she was expecting.

_**  
From this moment I have been blessed  
I live only for your happiness  
And for your love I'd give my last breath  
From this moment on **_

What was shocking was Mary. She came to the wedding telling everyone that she was pregnant with Carlos's baby once more and that they decided to fix their marriage. She walked the aisle smiling at Martin. Carlos could only smile at his wife.

__

I give my hand to you with all my heart  
Can't wait to live my life with you, can't wait to start  
You and I will never be apart  
My dreams came true because of you

Simon walked in next. Ironically he wasn't with Rose but rather with his old girlfriend as well as Martin's old girlfriend Cecelia. It was apparent that they were back together again. Simon held her arm tightly walking towards them.

_**  
From this moment as long as I live  
I will love you, I promise you this  
There is nothing I wouldn't give  
From this moment on **_

Charlie as well as his daughter came in after, in between them was Happy the dog decorated with roses as well. Everyone in the church was smiling and chuckled when they saw Happy. Happy walked proudly down the aisle. Martin felt the tears coming down his face. He loved his little girl. He saw the proud look on Carlos as well as Mary's faces when they saw Charlie. He knew that it was the same look on his face when he saw Lillian. Mac placed a hand on his shoulders. Martin looked up and the world stopped. ****

You're the reason I believe in love  
And you're the answer to my prayers from up above  
All we need is just the two of us  
My dreams came true because of you

His heart beat harder in his chest. She was beautiful. Her white dress. Her veil covering her raven hair. She was simple but perfection. The tears came down unchecked down his face. Ruthie the love of his life. She was walked slowly down the aisle with her father. Eric was holding tightly to her arm with his eyes filling up with tears. This was his last little girl. When she reached him. Martin was holding on by a thread. The tears were flowing down his face. She smiled at him giving him her famous smiles. Eric looked at Martin gave him a hug and placed Ruthie's arm into Martin's arm and kissed her cheek before taking a seat next to his crying wife. They both face front. Lucy gave them a smiling trying to hold onto her tears as well. ****

From this moment as long as I live  
I will love you, I promise you this  
There is nothing I wouldn't give  
From this moment  
I will love you as long as I live  
From this moment on

_**Shania Twain From this Moment. **_

To Ruthie and Martin the wedding was a blur. All Martin could feel was Ruthie gently running her thumb against his palm. He only looked up when Lillian ran towards them begging to be picked up. Ruthie did that without any consideration for her dress. Ruthie just kissed her forehead as Lillian leaned her head against her shoulders. Martin held tighter to Ruthie's hands smiling. He smiled when she repeated her vows, he smiled when she placed the ring on her finger, and he most of all he smiled when she said "I do".

"You may kiss you bride Martin", said Lucy smiling.

Martin looked at Ruthie and bent his head taking her lips. He felt stars go off in his head, his heat pounded faster. Oh yeah this was the life.

"I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Martin Brewer", said Lucy.

Cheers went up. Ruthie smiled and she grabbed Martin's hand while carrying Lillian and they as a family walked down the aisle.

End of Flashback…………………….

You see that was one of the best days of my life. Ruthie Camden became my wife. I don't even remember the reception. I remember the honeymoon though. I made love to my wife gently and slowly. I came apart when she was reaching her climax and she locked eyes with me biting her lips sweat on her forehead and she exhaled my name slowly. I breathed in the word and felt my world come apart. She made me come undone totally. She gave me her soul that night. I'm convinced. She transferred her soul to mine. Our souls met up that night. Nothing can ever convince me otherwise. She had given me her heart and body, but that night on her honeymoon she gave me her soul and I gave her mine as well.

"Martin", yelled Ruthie.

Martin closed her journal running to the room.

"It's time", cried Ruthie holding the wall.

Martin looked down at the puddle of water on their bedroom floor and looked up to her round belly.

"It's time", said Martin grabbing Ruthie's arm.

Martin was panicking.

After a crazy ride to the hospital, getting pulled over by a cop, Martin almost forgetting Ruthie in the car, twins Eve Ruthie Brewer and Adam Martin Brewer came screaming into the world. They were the love of their parents lives. Their older sister Lillian smiled and played with their fingers telling them promising them really that she would always share her toys with them and protect them.

Well that is my story, I showed you my life and I think is time that I stop writing in this journal. I think that this journal has come full circle as well. I'm glad that I wrote in this book. At the time I needed it to express what I was feeling but now I am only feeling one thing. I am Martin Brewer and I must say that I'm totally and utterly just happy.

Martin closed his journal and walked to his children's bedroom that were waiting with his wife to read to them their favorite bed time story. Ruthie smiled at him.

"I love you Martin", whispered Ruthie.

"I love you Ruthie", answered Martin.

And that was all that mattered.


End file.
